Im 21, I study medicine. My parents both have PHDs and they have been very successful and ambitious in their lives. I come from a culture where my parents had an semi-arranged marriage. My mom chose my dad amongst others because he was an engineer. There was no love between them then and there is non even now after 25 years of marriage.
Back to me: I have been seeing this guy( 22M) for 2 months. Things been going really great. We both said we love each other and we made it official as we were both on the same page. He really cares for me. Our sexual life is great too. We both adore each other. He has autism but still verbal. But it sometimes affect our communication. At the end of the day, we get on really well. We can laugh together, cry, argue but we both are trying to make it work. He has a manual job. But he is very passionate about going further and becoming more.
My mom since I started seeing him was against it. The only reason is because he wants me to date a doctor or a more educated person. She thinks its okay to not love the person at the beginning and love will grow. I disagree. I dont want my love life to end up like my parents’.
My relationship with my mom has been complicated. She always had this mental control over me. No matter what I did, I was never ever enough for her. I left them to move to a whole new continent when I was 18. Ive lived alone ever since and achieved a lot. Yet, i just dont seem to be good enough for her.
I told my mom that he wants to meet her after Christmas but she refuses as she thinks he wont stick around forever and its not worth her time.
I guess im looking for support and some advice on how to approach this situation.
12 comments
same boat as you, live your life and love whoever you want. If your parents come around great, if not also great.
As someone who went to medical school, I could never see myself dating another person in medicine.
Tell your mom to stfu. She really needs to hear this. I’ll do it if you won’t.
Do what YOU want. That’s it. Done.
Who’s dating this person you or your mom?
If she isn’t willing to be more supportive cut her off.
She’s just going to have to deal with it. Your happiness comes before her need to control and decide your life. I know it’s hard when someone’s had that kind of mental control over you and when someone has always made you feel like you’re never enough, but unfortunately for those kind of people there never is enough and you need to stand your ground with her.
Tell her u will go spend Christmas with his family then instead because his parents are interested in meeting u
Your mom is right. Dump that leech of a boyfriend.
Your parents are not dating experts.
Enjoy your trustfund. But make your own choices that bring you fulfillment.
Cut her off completely. Tell your bf it’s for the best.
Yo do you boo
Your parents sounds like they are out of touch with their emotions, seems like feelings are less important to them than what benefits and fits their ideals more.
Not just with you but also with themself.
I think you would do yourself a favor leaving decisions to yourself.