Me and my bf have been together almost 2 years, living together 1. We both notice our overall relationship is so much better when we regularly have sex. BUT, I never desire sex or am into doing it unless I use a toy to get in the mood beforehand.
There’s no type of touching, cuddling or anything that makes me interested in doing it or gets me wet without a toy. This is how it’s been ever since I started having sex at 17. I never really craved it and just do it bc I know I have to. While I enjoy it to a degree in the moment knowing in pleasing him I still never want to otherwise.
This is the first man to ever finish me off in my whole life. He’s also the one who introduced me to toys. Now I need a toy or I won’t have interest at all.
Why ????? I’m young, I feel like my relationship with sex has never been normal but idk how to fix it. Not a very sexual person but want to be. Any advice?
3 comments
Why fix it? I think you should be happy you know what works for you.
Some people go through life never figuring that out.
I would suggest you buy more toys. Lol.
There is a concept called responsive arousal. It’s worth looking that up. Most women, I think 70% or more, have this. Basically it means you need some sort of mental or physical stimulus in order to get turned on. It’s not something you automatically generate internally, which is called spontaneous arousal, which is what most men have.
It may be that the toy is the right stimulus to which your body responds with arousal.
I don’t think you can awaken spontaneous arousal, it seems to be hardwired. But I’m no expert.
The good news is you have discovered something that reliably gets you aroused.
There is nothing to fix, you aren’t broken and this isn’t “weird.” Everyone responds differently to sex and stimuli.
Does it work if he is the one to use the toy on you? I personally find my partner using a wand on me to be extremely arousing.