Needing help/advice. My husband and I are newly married (3 months). As of recent, it seems like every single thing bothers him about me. I speak too quietly and he has to ask “what” too many times, or I’m then too loud. Or we are eating and he suddenly stands up and leaves because he can’t take the subtle sounds of someone eating, like even the smallest amount of mouth noise. I feel like every little thing I do is setting him off, and they’re like every day things, I have to speak or eat. I’m trying to be mindful of it but he’s really sensitive to it. How does someone “meet in the middle” on these kinds of subjective things? It’s not like we have to compromise about who’s washing dishes tonight… it’s me watching every single bite of food and every time I talk.. my level of sound. It’s stressful.
4 comments
How long have you known each other? Did these things bother him before you got married?
Something else is going on, don’t feel bad for these things annoying him. Like you said you have to eat and talk, unless your “smacking” or just excessively load while eating your fine. He’s already annoyed about something else and is just hypersensitive.
Has he expressed anything to you that he doesn’t like you doing? How long have you lived together?
Depression can manifest in this kind of irritation. Speaking from experience, medication made an enormous difference to me
Not saying it’s the case but putting an option out there so you know there are reasons for this kind of behaviour that are nothing to do with you
Now, it’s not ok to nitpick your spouse. So even if he is bothered about something else it’s his responsibility to resolve it not take it out on you
You all kinda sounds like me and my husband. My husband often mumbles at home and it drives me crazy. In the beginning I felt like he was being passive aggressive, but that’s just him 😅
I just politely ask him to speak up, I used to get snappy but I don’t anymore. And he tries to speak up so I don’t have to strain to hear him. He is also a loud eater, like I’ve seen him slurp a cracker! I explained to him how it drives me crazy and he does his best. I try to play music in the background when we sit to eat so I don’t lose my mind. There’s a name for people who can’t handle loud eating?? Can’t be bothered to look it up but it’s a real thing 🤷🏾♀️
Anyways..you all have to find compromises that work for you all! Maybe sit closer together when you talk and turn off background noise? Maybe turn on some lofi at meal times? Be creative! 🤗 He in turn needs to be more patient with you! Communicate! Communicate! Communicate! If the relationship is worth keeping you two will find a way! Good luck 👍🏾