I (M23) don’t know if this is the right place to ask this but I couldn’t come up with anything better.

I often hear men say that they never receive compliments, some might say they get maybe one in 5 years. But what does this mean? What kind of compliments do people generally count as compliments? Are compliments from family compliments? How about distant relatives? Random old people? Co-workers? Comments about looks / skills / achievements?

A student says I’m the best subsitute teacher. Is that a compliment? A random 30yo woman says I have a beautiful jacket. Is that a compliment? A relative says I’m handsome. Is that a compliment? A random co-worker says I’m a handsome tall alphamale, therefore blahblahblah. Is that a compliment? Acquitances and friends ’compliment’ me on being nice and friendly. Is that a compliment? A friend says I’m very good at [some skill]. Is that a compliment?

Should I be grateful for getting compliments like these? Or are these compliments in the first place? Where do you draw the line?

6 comments
  1. Why’d you wanna draw a line? Are you looking for a way to disregard the compliments?

    In many cases, not all obviously, people do get complimented, but not in the way they’d like to be, so they sometimes disregard them. Fx if a guy is very proud about something he’s accomplished with work/hobbies, and others only compliment him on his outfits. Or if a guy would like to feel handsome or manly, and someone calls them cute. It’s not always, that someone doesn’t get compliments, but they can resemble conflict of interest regarding who/what they’d like to represent. But most compliments are well meant, and should ideally be taken in. It means someone thinks well of you, and that’s nice 🙂

  2. They are all compliments and the guy told you he doesnt get any compliments must be confused or an introvert, i am an introvert and i dont get any – _- which makes sense

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