girl and I have mutual friends and have a common hobby and lived in different cities. We ended up talking for everyday 24 7 for a few months and she ended up moving to the same city as me. The minute this happen our conversation died and I got upset both cause I started liking her as well as cause of my attachment as a friend. After confessing and getting rejected she said she wanted to make up being good friends again but I find I’m very uninterested in getting to be her friend. To clarify she started all this not me it was neither our intentions for things to end up like this. She’s always asking to hang out and join our friends for things and I’m not sure how to tell her I don’t want this instead I say I’m busy. Does thst make me a bad person that I don’t wanna be her friend anymore. What are my options here. We both share a main hobby and a bunch of friends we may encounter all the time.
TLDR became friends with girl of high intensity got rejected don’t wanna be her friend what do I do
5 comments
It’s okay. It may be a bit cruel, but dude, you didn’t want to get another new friend from the start. It’s a benefit that your girlfriend is also your friend, but this situation is something else, and almost impossible to convert it to a normally functioning friendship.
Ok so that’s rough and I’m sorry about that but at least you took that chance in telling her how you feel. And if you don’t want to be friends with her anymore that’s totally understandable and it doesn’t make you a bad person. And if this is something that you really want or need to do than just be honest with her and tell her that you can’t just be friends with her. She’ll understand.
Best of luck to you!!!
Your choices are ghost or be honest. I’d be honest just to stop her from reaching out.
What you should expect: she will feel upset, likely because she thinks you only valued her as a romantic partner and she was worthless once that is off the table. Not entirely wrong, but everything is a bit more nuanced than that, as well.
The reality: you caught feelings, and it’s too hard to be around her. She lost someone she thought was going to be a friend. There’s going to be hurt feelings, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to move forward honestly and let time take care of the wounds.
Yes it is 100% fine. You gotta do you and I think it’s really healthy that you recognize what you want and don’t want to put yourself in a situation you’re not comfortable with. I suggest that you keep trying to play the “I’m busy” card and just grey rock when you come into contact with her when you have to. Pleasant and boring and then move on.
You are definitely not a bad person. I wouldn’t want to hang around someone I wanted more from either and that’s totally within your right.
It makes you look like you were only interested in her romantically. No one is going to be okay with that, but it would be worse to continue a fake friendship just so she doesn’t think you were just after her romantically.