Dating apps aren’t really my thing and hookup culture/one night stands make me uncomfortable. I want to be ready as an individual for a real relationship. As far as actions that I can control what are some things that are overlooked that could assist in finding someone with the same mindset of starting a serious relationship? ie finances in order, mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, able to be alone and have hobbies. These are all things I’m comfortable with or working towards. What will be helpful to myself personally and for my future relationship? Where do I start to look ? Any creative ideas?
5 comments
Just be you.
I’ll say, I’m relatively new back in the dating world (53M) after a long time married and I see a lot of people say they want a long-term relationship. My opinion is that too many people spend time listening to others on the internet. I’ve had ladies tell me I haven’t been single long enough to start a relationship so they are not going to date their time. Or only want. …. whatever.
Now I realize there are a lot of guys out there that are assholes. But for me, I just want to meet in person and talk. If we hit it off, then maybe do it again, and again until it’s either a long-term relationship or we don’t see each other anymore. If I have to fill out an “application” before meeting, to check all the boxes, then I don’t think you are doing this right. You could be missing someone really great. I have seen two different ladies, that just looking at their profile online, I didn’t have a lot of hope that there would be a second date, but the first turned into s great month of spending time with (never made it to the bedroom) but had an amazing time, until something came up that we didn’t mesh with and it ended. The second one was just this week, and I just left a wonderful second date and looking forward to seeing again.
>finances in order, mentally, physically and emotionally healthy, able to be alone and have hobbies.
This is more important than you think. You’re a poor, unemployed, grad student living in your parent’s house in your thirties, you’ve got buckley’s chance of a LTR. And if you’re not good looking enough for ONS/NSA fun, then you’re completely shit out of luck. My dating life improved *a lot* once I was gainfully employed and had my own place/
Couples therapists. Seriously, start listening to some on youtube/podcasts. There’s a tremendous amount of knowledge and skill that goes into relationships, so why not learn from people who literally specialize in those areas and have the experience of working with 1000s of patients?
Serious answer.
Go with the flow, I wasn’t looking for anyone when I met my current girlfriend. Initially, I did not want to have a relationship but then I realised that she’s one of a type girl.
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My advice, look after yourself, that’s mentally and physically. Train, interact, go out and enjoy life.
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Merry Christmas , ya filthy an*mal! 😉