Why is it socially acceptable for older women to date much younger men than it is for older men to date much younger women?

47 comments

1. As long as the people involved are over 18 and doing it by their free will and no grooming is involved than it should be ok.

2. I think leathery old cougars and greasy old creepers get about the same level of intense eye-rolling from the general population.

3. Because men bad. Never mind the fact that plenty of 20-something women clearly and willingly voice their preference for “more mature/established” (i.e. older and richer) men which, by the way, isn’t inherently wrong or anything, but contradicts the common rhetoric about that exact scenario being “creepy”.

4. I don’t think either are considered acceptable.

   People talk shit on Olivia Wilde constantly for dating younger

5. Last I checked both were socially acceptable,

6. Societal messaging about woman’s worth being tied to their age has made women sensitive to relationships with an age gap. Although my take is that the outrage should be limited to relationships where the guy is an obvious predator.

   Jealousy is another factor that I have observed. Single women especially those in their thirties really don’t like it when they get turned down. The entitlement I have experienced is just astonishing. And these are typically women of the type who go around saying men don’t take rejection well. I agree, many men don’t. But they then turn around and do the same thing.

   I have had multiple women screech at me for dating women 22-25 and I had to point out that those women were the ones who asked me out. Not to mention I am 31.

7. I didn’t know it was considered socially acceptable

8. It’s not really socially acceptable for either gender to do it, it can be predatory for both, and in many cases harmful for both young men and women. But I feel like it’s easier for young men to socially move on from a bad relationship. Young women have a harder time. I don’t like double standards, and I feel like society is pretty dismissive of young men, but I’m still protective of young women. I’m better at calling out creepy dudes than I am at calling out predatory women, so I’ll keep doing that. While also talking honestly to both sides.

9. Not really sure where you’re getting this information. It hasn’t been socially acceptable for older women to date younger men until recently. I wouldn’t say it’s socially unacceptable for men to date younger women at all.

10. Isn’t it the other way around?

    At the very least it’s a lot more common for men to date younger women.

11. WHERE?????

12. Always thought it was more socially acceptable with an older man and younger woman.

13. Is it? I’m dating 9 years younger, and everyone and its dog seems to have something to say about me “cradle snatching” or being a cougar

14. It’s really quite simple, it’s all to do with the whole paradigm of men being the lead and women the follow in the mad dance of courtship ritual

    A man who seeks significantly younger partners gives the impression that he’s going after women with less experience, less sound judgment, and less a sense of independence, which others will regard as questionable

    A woman with a much younger partner is unlikely to get this same assumption because, as a woman, it’s assumed she would not compromise by having a partner who is “less than” capable or in control just because of his youth.

    Now you know.

15. Since when. Older men have always dated younger women. Especially when men are successful. Now the reverse is happening.

16. I think the problem is that society is too busy putting its nose where it doesn’t belong. If a couple is happy, why does it matter that one of them is 20 and the other is 40, regardless of gender?

17. It’s not.

18. Because it’s too socially acceptable for people to not mind their own damn business. If it’s not your relationship, your acceptance doesn’t matter, move along.

19. Social “norms” regarding age are disrespectful. For those who feel compelled to demonize older people as nothing more than skeevy, leathery trash… I hope your own fountain of youth serves you well when your time comes. Age doesn’t diminish a person’s desire to love and be loved. Bottom line… if two people find joy in being together… celebrate their happ iness as opposed to classifying their relationship in the negative. Peace out.

20. Because in our society women are not labeled as predators and perverts. Men are, which make this the double standard.

21. Because despite all of the struggles, and successes for equality, they are still seen as lesser, or a minority group. So, man dates younger, he’s being predatory when a woman does it, she’s seen as being empowered.

22. I have been dating women in their 30s for 30 years. When I was in my early 20s I dated a woman who was 31. Now I am 50 and dating a woman who is 39.

    When you are a young man dating an older woman, people look at you like a boy toy. They look at you as disposable and they look at the woman as if she is in it for the sex. I would like to think that there was more to it than that, I’d finished my masters at 22 and thought I was mature; but I wasn’t ‘man’ enough for her. She needed someone more mature and together and it ended.

    Now as an older man dating a younger woman, people look at me as if I am in it for the control and her for money. Except that’s not the case at all. She is smart and independent and could have any guy she wants, but she chose me; and I her.

    Fuck social conventions. Find someone that works for you and aligns with your dreams, goals and desires and love them for as long as it lasts.

23. Don’t lose sleep over what’s “socially acceptable”, particularly in 2022. You do you.

24. It’s not

25. It is?? Since when? I’ve never heard a derogatory term such as “cougar” applied to the older man in these kinds of scenarios.

26. This falls under “people should mind their own business “

27. My wife is 8 years older than me and she looks and acts young. I’m also her 4th marriage! She went younger with our marriage, this is my 1st marriage. We have been together 19 years, married 9 years.

28. They are both equally accepted – you’re “cradle robbing”…. I say this as I have dated women 10 years younger than me… but my wife is 14 years older than me.

    At the end of the day, who cares.

29. Just for clarification a Cougar is a woman in their 40s dating a much younger man. A Jaguar is a woman in her 50s dating a much younger man

30. Social attitudes are weird things aren’t they?

    My wife is eight years older than me, we’ve been married for decades and no-one has ever said a word.

    When my friend’s son was twenty-one, he was dating a woman who was nearly forty. My friend was quite proud of his boy and said that she would help him grow up, teach him a thing or two and make a man of him.

    When I asked him how he’d feel if his eighteen year old daughter bought home a thirty-five year old boyfriend, he was outraged at the idea and said he would never allow it.

    “Not even if he helps her grow up, teaches her a thing or two and makes a woman of her?” I asked. He said it was different for girls.

31. Are you out of your mind? Women only recently haven’t been shamed for dating much younger, whereas men have been doing it for CENTURIES.

32. It’s not. It’s actually the opposite.

33. Ummm for most of history it wasn’t. Old man could date young woman but the other way around was taboo.

    People change. Fads change. Culture changes. The only thing that doesn’t change is change. It’s constant

34. I was banging a 45 yo woman when I was 18. I didn’t give a fuck what people said.

35. Its not, source dating 8 years older

36. lol what? I frankly think a 50 year old woman with a 25 year old dude is gonna get a lot more head turns than a 50 year old dude with a 25 year old girl.

37. Idk my friends give me shit for dating guys my own age or younger… the youngest I’ve gone is 5 years younger, I prefer older but a lot of those guys are married or lowkey misogynistic

38. It’s isn’t. If anything older men dating younger women is the norm.

39. My partner for 5 years was 22y older than me. We scandalized soccer moms by making out in public. They thought, and perhaps still think, that he was my Dad.

40. Men are seen to be preying on some innocent girl that needs a father figure, or money.

    Some parts of society still think a woman can’t take advantage of a man. Despite calling them boytoys lol.

    Realistically both tropes are going to get some judgement when they’re out for dinner.

41. Hot cougars are sexy

42. Because its less dangerous.

43. What are you talking about, if anything it’s the opposite

44. Why care about something as stupid as public opinion?

45. Let’s just chalk it up to a small concession as far as the double standards men have been getting away with for so long

46. The latter has always been more prevalent…

47. It’s not. It’s still much more socially acceptable for an older man to date a younger woman.