The title sounds crazy but it’s not like that. So I (25f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 7 years. In those years we have had sex a bunch of times, a little background before I met my boyfriend I didn’t date and had no had sex with anyone we met when I was just about to turn 18 and he was 19. When i was a kid I ws sexually assaulted by my aunts boyfriend and was diagnosed with spd split personality disorder. My other self is someone I’m conscious of I used to end up in places I didnt know and things like that whenever I got really stressed. Ok enough background my other half is the half that can have sex I can too but half way through I get stressed and she is always there to take over. My boyfriend knows that he exists and has learned to notice when she is here. Earlier tonight we were about to have sex and he wanted my to you know but I said no because its gross. He asked me why I didnt tell him before because he would never force me to do it. I let it slip that it was not me doing it but my other half. That killed the mood and he didn’t want to have sex anymore. I dont know if I made him mad or what hut he just didnt want to continue what should I do
5 comments
Thankfully most people life in parts of the world where you can choose to do stuff you like and don’t have to do stuff you dislike.
If you like giving head, go for it, if you dislike then don’t do it. If he doesn’t like you not giving head then it’s his problem.
Talk about it and find a middle ground but don’t force yourself to do stuff you don’t like. He won’t suck a dick just because you want him to.
I’m on his side
Sooo, is this the first time oral has been a problem for you two in this 7 year time frame?
Yeah this is above Reddits pay grade.
This is a conversation to have with a qualified professional.
A couple of things:
– You should talk about this with a professional
– Oral isn’t gross. You can dislike it and not want to do it but it isn’t gross and saying so gives a bad vibe to your bf about his body
– Your bf didn’t say that he doesn’t want to have sex unless you start with oral.
– The reason he didn’t want to have sex was probably because he was upset about the situation. You have to understand that it must be very confusing and difficult for him too. He is completely justified in not wanting to have sex because of what you said.