I am 28/M. I had a longterm relationship which ended, and started to date again. I was always really nervous when it came to sex with a new woman. I started to think about every possible insecurities, like is my size, performance, technique good enough? Do I last for long enough? This anxiety even lose the desire and I don’t even want to have sex, just think about how good it will be to be after sex. It usually happens only on the first occasion with someone new, and after that I can treat it better. I thought it will get better through the partners, but it just don’t disappear. Sometimes I even had ED issues, because I was so nervous.
I have learnt some calming techniques and meditation, and it can help for a short term, but once I can stop overthinking, this thoughts appear randomly again.
I finally met someone who I care, and she will come over this friday, but even if I think about it I become so anxious, and want to just get over it. If I don’t have pressure, or get used to my partner I can think about sex in a joyful way.
My doctor gave me sildenafil to handle ED on the first occasions, but I am still really nervous, even shaking sometimes.
Guys, how do you handle this feeling?
4 comments
Just be with someone you’re comfortable with and you’ll be more confident
I’m not a guy but remember that expectations are pretty low for the first time with a new partner.
A partner once expressed their nerves to me and I felt like that was so sweet.
Also you have an advantage. Being in an 8 year relationship means you had sex with the same person for a long time. You understand what makes a woman tick (albeit your woman) which is something many men in their late 20s don’t know how to do.
Take deep breaths. Remember it’s meant to be a pleasure not a stressful encounter. There’s no pressure on you if she likes you, if you’re worried just take longer with foreplay, and take it slow
Talk to her about if you think you’re close enough. I did and it went well for me