A girl asked me to prom over text and I said yes but I already had somebody in mind to ask. I would prefer going with the person I was going to ask but I am not sure what to say/do to the girl who asked me to go with her and how I should ask the original girl to go with me.
Should I first ask if she would go to prom with me, or should I tell the first girl that I don’t want to go with her? Someone please help me as to what to say and how to approach this situation.
10 comments
Honesty is the best policy. My 2 cents worth – speak to her directly and not via text message. The girl you asked will be hurt, can’t change that now but you gotta own it man. These things happen.
Lastly have a good think to yourself about this girl who has asked you, would you really have a better time with the other one, especially considering she’s asked you it takes a lot of guts to ask anyone. Good luck little bro, don’t stress over it just roll with it.
Personally, I’d honor the first commitment, and be present for her during the event. You don’t have to carry it on past that if you don’t want to. Going back on your word will probably cause more problems down the road, in my opinion.
You promised her, I think you should man up and honor what you have promised. It isn’t fair to the girl who asked you since she didn’t force you
Take them both because this is 2023 and polyamory is a thing.
Does your word mean anything? I would go with the first one and have a good time.
take them both like that neds declassified episode
One possible scenario is you cancel on the first one and she immediately asks someone new without much of a reaction. You could be all worried for no reason. I say be authentic, and next time someone asks you anything give yourself time to think by saying ‘I’ll let you know soon’. This is a great learning opportunity. Don’t go to prom with someone you don’t want to go with. You’re allowed to change your mind. People cancel weddings day of! Go with your heart.
I got asked to prom, and said yes but hoped i said no. But ended up going and didn’t really hangout dance one or two songs and bang that was it.
Take the girl you promised first. I you don’t enjoy prom ask the girl you liked originally out.
What are you’re reasons for wanting to ask the other girl? Prom isn’t a date, it’s a cultural coming of age ritual for each person at your school. While it’s often trumped up as something romantic, its rarely that way in reality. Like all coming of age rituals, it’s most successful when experienced with friends and other ‘safe’ people, like established romantic partners. As a first date, prom is a high-pressure, high risk choice.
If the girl who asked you wants it to be a first date, or generally has romantic interest in you, that’s already a recipe for failure. But breaking your word to her in order to ask another girl your romantically interested in would be a recipe for failure^2.
As for the girl you’ve already said yes to, you shouldn’t break your word. However, you can (and probably should) have a conversation with her to clarify expectations – make sure you are on the same page about romantic potential. It would really suck for this girl to have her once-in-a-lifetime coming of age ritual be overshadowed by raised/dashed hopes of romance with her crush. Decide together to go as friends, or decide together to ask someone else/go with an established friend.
As for the girl you wanted to ask to prom, if you’re romantically interested in her, ask her on a real date. Wait until prom is over, then ask her out.