I want to introduce a simple model to understand fear which can help tackle problems like social anxiety in a structured manner.
​
We all know that we fear what is a threat to us. Fear has an intrinsic function to remove oneself from the threat. If one does not seek to remove oneself from the threat, then there is no room for fear. If one is not able to remove oneself from the threat, there is also no fear. So we fear when:
1. There is a threat
2. There is an opportunity to remove oneself from the threat
3. There is an attempt to remove oneself from the threat
​
Imagine you want to talk to someone but you’re nervous. According to this model you could remove fear in three ways:
1. You stop seeing the rejection of her as a threat to your own self-worth or reputation
2. You increase the amount of control you have over the situation by learning social technique
3. You just completely give up on the attempt to control her perception of you