I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. My husband and I married 3 years ago and we have a one year old. We’ve been saving for a place and have managed to get a mortgage approved. But, we went through the process twice and both times it fell through (seller no longer wants to sell). We’ve lost a lot of money through this and so my husband (32) wants to save up again. Me (33) I want to have more children. He feels like we will never own our own home if we have kids now and thinks we should wait until we’re in our own place. This could take a year or two and I do feel like my clock is ticking. AITA for saying I don’t want to wait? We had a big row about it. I feel like he’s strung me along because all through the first year of our sons life he’s said yea let’s have more and then now he wants to wait until we’re in our own home. I told him this and he said he did want more children and still does he just wants to wait until we’re in our own home. I also would like to be in our own home but I always wanted at least two children and I’ve always made it clear. We’ve been arguing about this lately and it’s been really upsetting. He wants to go to counselling and I think we should too as it could help us sort through our problems. Any advice please?
5 comments
Counselling sounds good. You both have very valid reasons for what you want and there is no right way to do it.
Both of you should talk to your doctor. If your doctor says there is no reason why waiting a year or two would make your pregnancy harder then wait. If they say that your window is closing then you don’t wait. Lots of women have babies around 40 now. Some women’s bodies can’t handle that. Let your health decide when to have babies.
Your clock is ticking but not brutally. Can you compromise on saving up for a year?
Do you work? If husband’s the only one working then obviously he is totally stressed about owning a house. When you have kids, you like to have at least stability of a home so you don’t have to keep renting and moving around. You are only 33 and you already have 1 kid so waiting a year or two is not a big problem.
The wording you used about your husband stringing you along is so offensive. Do you think he wants to own a house so he can live here alone? Do you think he worry that having 2 children, the financial burden will increase and saving for a house will be very very difficult? Do you think he is just stringing you along because he likes it?
Talk to a doctor if you can wait a year or two, then it shouldn’t be a problem. Having two kids is more financially harder then having 1 child. So stop being selfish and reason with your husband and find a solution without arguing and fighting and come to a compromise. That’s my opinion.
You might want to find new lenders/real estate agents if you’re losing money on houses you don’t get.
Who is keeping the money in these scenarios? You should get all earnest money back.