Mine’s a bit obvious but I *really* understood it this year. It’s to listen to *actually* listen to the person & not for the sake of what to say next in the conversation.
This stumps me as I don’t naturally think of things to say so I try to force myself to pay attention to what someone’s saying & ask something out of it. I’m trying to stop this & even though there might be a slight pause after they’re done speaking it’s not the end of the world. Could also say it’s to be more present.
Would love to know what yours is!
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I want to be more honest with people about who I am. Tell them the music I actually like, the games I actually play. Rather than lying and telling them about some more normal thing I’m maybe kinda interested in.
Not one I actively worked on but one I started to really notice as a weakness I want to improve in 2023.
I can be really confrontation avoidant. I tend to freeze, divert or flea the situation. In order to establish healthier and more effective boundaries, I need to learn how to effectively confront people or situations I am seriously uncomfortable dealing with.
For me it was two things:
a) Self-awareness: think more about what I’m feeling and needing in a conversation rather than what others think of me. I used to be waaay on the “how do I make others like me” side rather than “how do I make myself like where I am and myself”.
b) Define my terminology. e.g. Instead of saying “I’d like you to care” I will go multiple steps further and define what “care” means in the current context as if it can be recorded with a camera and microphone, without having any evaluation, assessment, and generalization words. For example, if I need some time to work on something. Instead of “I’d like you to care” I might say “I’d like some time to work on X. Would you mind not talking to me for an hour or so? Afterwards I’m open to chatting about things. Of course, if there’s something important, please ping me!”
c) share examples and ask for examples to help with b)
edit: all the tips others have posted are pretty cool! I’d like to adopt those as well. Thanks for the inspiration.