I (27M) am wondering if I should contact my ex (27F) in the future?

My ex and I were together for around 8 months and broke up because of her situation.

She has a kid that’s 11 and an “ex bf” that refused to move on from her. They were together for around 10 years.

During those 10 years she was put down, mentally abused, manipulated, and overall controlled by her ex. Everything was separate in their relationship, finances, materialistic items, the house, everything. Never married.

All her friends were older and knew her ex to some extent. I was the youngest person she knew. She told me her best friend was her ex for the longest time and I tried explaining to her that there was a reason for that.

He never let you have any friends that could potentially compete.

She went over half a year with no sex, he forced her to pay him back with interest on some $2,000 car payment. Left her alone in the hospital for over a week after their kid was born…

Just absolute fucked up shit.

She stayed because of her kid. Even though her and her ex had a ton of problems they never made it known to their kid, which is good and bad depending on how you look at it.

On one hand you don’t put any stress on the kid and they think everything is fine, but on the other hand you’re essentially lying to them their whole life.

So she moved out and got her own place and eventually put herself out there again and we met and instantly connected. We went on a lot of trips together, had a lot of experiences, and ended up getting very close to each other and falling in love, etc. It was very fulfilling for the both of us. She was never in a healthy relationship like ours and a lot of the time she found it hard to believe. She was hesitant going to places with me sometimes and didn’t let me meet her kid cause she said they’re not ready, fair enough, I agreed. She said she would tell her kid when they’re 13.

During these times she would still go back to her old house and hang out with her kid and ex. She would come back to me stressed out or crying because she felt like she couldn’t get away from that situation and felt trapped.

She is not the kind of person who can fight her own battles unfortunately, and gives in to her ex a lot. He would use his kid to guilt trip her into coming over. I mean it’s the product of 10 years of manipulation and abuse. I fucked up one night and I went over to her ex’s house when she wouldn’t answer my call after being late for 2 hours. I talked to her ex and she got pissed. I had a civil conversation with him, but I realized I shouldn’t have gone there. The kid was never involved and didn’t see me.

That strayed our relationship, I apologized and told her that I only did it because she told me that she wanted out of that whole thing and she was really stressed.

We had a long conversation where she basically told me she needed time and space to figure things out. I told her I would respect that and I did, but there were times where she would literally drive to where I was and hang out with me cause she missed me then get angry and leave because she felt like she wasn’t helping me give her space.

I was beyond confused and frustrated and at this point I didn’t know what she wanted.

Eventually we had a bad falling out where she ended up moving out of her apartment when her lease was up and moved back in with her ex and kid.

I was very hurt and didn’t talk to her for a month, but I texted her one night and apologized for how I acted and that it’s her life and her decisions. I told her that I understood she has a family that she needs to focus on and she wasn’t ready to be in a relationship.

We texted for a bit and ended up on good terms.

She said she’s going back to school to finish her masters and that she’s focusing on herself more.

I’m busy with my new job becoming a journeyman.

We both apologized for how we acted and wished each other the best and are happy for one another.

It’s been months and I still miss her.

I’ve gone on other dates and made new friends. I’m happy and fully functional. I’m not depressed or anything.

It’s just our relationship was very deep and we
really were going to go far with it.

Part of me really wants to ask her how she’s doing every once in a blue moon or contact her when she’s done with her masters and I’ve finished journeyman school.

I know she’s not going to stay with her ex forever. She and her Mom made that very clear to me. I don’t have kids so I don’t know what that’s like, but I can respect her choices and not intrude.

For now I’m just living my life, staying happy and being responsible.

TL;DR – Was in a great relationship for almost a year with a girl. She had a complicated situation because of her ex and kid that she needed to figure out so we broke up. Should I contact her in the future?