Want to preface with— my husband is an incredibly supportive partner, he’s cute and hilarious. We have an amazing time together.
We do have a reoccurring fight about his hygiene tho. He used to go to bed without showering (we live in Texas with hot days, we’re both pretty active and I def have a thing about clean sheets). He does smoke weed (I don’t care about that), but his teeth are starting to be discolored in a way that is reallly unattractive.
Am I being controlling by insisting that he clean his body/teeth better? I don’t really care about many other things, but these two are non-negotiable to me.
6 comments
How about he starts doing the laundry after every time he gets in bed unshowered and if he doesn’t then he can sleep alone.
The teeth thing is an issue you should keep on because healthy appearance is important for a woman’s attraction to a man
When did he last see a dentist? The teeth could be a larger issue
Did this issue exist before you got married? If so, then yes, you are being unreasonable. If these are non-negotiable they should have been addressed prior to the wedding.
Does he want you to find him attractive? If so, he should do things that contribute to that.
I mean, there are obviously limits to what anyone can do for themselves… but it seems like brushing his teeth more regularly with a whitening toothpaste and showering before bed (at least most days) aren’t big asks.
Heck, if my wife wanted, I’d seriously consider a teeth whitening procedure at the dentist. I’m firmly of the opinion that my spouse has to look at me / smell me more than anyone else in the world (including myself), so her opinion carries a ton of weight.
Showering before bed definitely sounds like a you thing, particularly if its because you’ve got “a thing about clean sheets”.
For his teeth, speak to him and ask him to see a dentist about whitening.
FYI though, this is definitely you being picky. If he showers in the morning and practises good oral hygiene (brushing his teeth etc) then honestly its a you problem and not a him problem.
No it’s not unreasonable or controlling. Btw he needs to see the dentist at least every 6 months.