Little background story here:
Me and my partner have been in a relationship for 3 years. He is one of the greatest things happened to my life and we bring the best out of each other. We met and got together while working on the same project in my home country and we moved to his home country, Canada, recently upon I got a job offer here. He has two kids (12M and 11F) from his previous marriage whom I have not met in person due to Covid and recent cross continent move. His Ex moved to the US with his kids and her affair partner (hence why they broke up) due to her job 6 years ago when they got divorced since then my partner has been visiting his kids as often as he could. While he visits his kids in the US, he stays in their house in order to make it comfortable as he could for his kids even though he can not tolerate his ex.
Now that we are back in Canada, we moved into the house they used to live before due to practicality and having 2 soon to be teenagers. My partner and I did renovation and furnishing per our own taste, though I cannot fully call this place as my home (still adjusting to it). His and his ex’s plan was always to raise their kids in Canada, so we are having the kids here soon while she continues living in the US with her newborn baby and partner. The reason I am asking for advice here is she is bringing the kids over as partially she has some personal family matter to attend and partially to see me in person too which is obvious as a parent, you’d want to meet the person who is going to co-parent her kids. However, there is a discussion around that she might stay in the same house with us during her stay (around 2 weeks) and I find it extremely uncomfortable for following reasons. a/ It is my first time meeting his kids in person and the thought of having their mother 24/7 in the house with us feels a bit difficult. b/ The house we are in used to be her home and just her being there makes me feel like an intruder and outsider. c/ She has other options to stay somewhere else.
I spoke my feeling to my partner and while he says he understands where I am coming from, he does not want to break the bridge with his Ex completely for their kids’ sake. I also comprehend the situation and I like his kids and they have no problem living with me. I just do not know how to navigate through that the timing of his Ex staying with us. I’ll have no problem in the future when she stays with us but this time it feels so uncomfortable to me giving all the reasons above.
Please understand that English is not my first language and feel free to ask for more clarity. Thank you.
tl;dr: My partners Ex wants to stay with us
2 comments
Nah, that’s a no from me dawg
Well he’s stayed with her whenever he’s visiting the kids so he probably does feel that he owes her the same when she’s coming with the boys. They also used to live in that house so maybe she feels that she can stay there. It’s a tough situation you’re in. You might end up getting along with her, she has a new partner and baby, so can it not be amicable?