I (20F) just had sex with a guy on our first date, I felt attracted to this guy because of his music taste, he will always reply to my stories and he just had a cool vibe. we agreed on meeting on a park. we saw each other and 20 min into the date he suggests to go to a motel. I said no first because I was just meeting him but ended up agreeing at the end. anyways the sex was good, he clearly knew what he was doing but I still feel bad for it because there was no aftercare and he acted so cold during the act, at a moment I wanted to give him a hickey and he moved his head, making me think that he is actually seeing someone else considering he received a text from a girl while we were together. anyways I dont know if I should block him, tbh I dont wanna hear from him ever again. I still feel a little bad, please cheer me up š lol
11 comments
It’s fine to not enjoy a hookup. It happens. You can talk to him about your experience and try to make it better next time if he’s interested.
p.s. i really don’t get the concept that everyone immediately goes to blocking someone. If they’re harassing you or something, then sure, but otherwise it just prevents you from possibly working it out.
It was your choice to do it, so u should have no regrets. Learn from it and it will help with your choices in the future. Think of it this way, you could meet someone, go on multiple dates, finally have sex, and end up with same result. You never know what you are going to get until you try, so never blame yourself. Just learn from what you do to make it better for the next time. Best wishes and Happy New Year.
I would block. Seems like he might have a gf and was cheating with you. Just reading cues so may be off.
I wouldnt feel “bad” about it. Maybe not the best experience, lol, but I wouldnt carry any shame or regret about it.
If you think he was cheating… I mean, maybe. I’d say just leave it alone and, yeah, probably Block him since it sounds like the whole thing just wasnt great for you.
But no need to feel shame or regret about it. It wasnt great. [shrugs] That happens. Ya just try to not dwell on it and move on.
i hate today’s dating culture. I’m more of a romantic, I need to have a connection to feel anything. But it’s so much more common to just hook-up. I say don’t feel bad or any regrets. It’s something we all experience. A one time thing is a one time thing.
Maybe not everyone likes having visible bruises on their neck? Especially if they’re not a young teenager any more who wants to wear that as a signal to the other kids that they’ve been more sexually active than everyone else? As a grown adult if you show up at work with hickeys all over your neck it’s awkward at best knowing your co-workers can all see them and pass make comments about it, and at worst it could be seen as totally unprofessional, especially if you’re in a customer-facing position.
Maybe he didn’t want a hickey because he has a job to go to or people to see and doesn’t want to look like he is 12 years old?
I went through a phase like this in my 20s with a couple guys the sex was good but I regretted it each time. I’m still not proud of it now so be careful how many you “rack up”
If he contacts you again, just yell him thanks, but we just aren’t compatible. Easy let down. Then block him.
i understand how you feel, iāve been in similar situations. what i came to realise is that thereās no reason to be sad or ashamed, though. some experiences are simply kind of a let down, all you have to do is learning from them and realise what is right and what is wrong for you.
also, itās probably a good thing that you went ahead, hooked up with this guy on the first date and realised that heās not the person you should invest your energy in. it would have been way worse if you started seeing him regularly, either of you developed feelings and then found yourself in one of those super uncomfortable āsituationshipsā.
> I wanted to give him a hickey
Who does that on purpose to a stranger? Literally somebody you’ve talked to for 20 minutes?
Yeah, you’re expecting too much from a stranger.