How do you deal with your jealous partner?

11 comments

1. I couldn’t. I dated two jealous women for about a year each, and after both those relationships crashed and burned, I said: never again.

   Jealousy is a dealbreaker now.

2. Nope.

   If you don’t trust me, we don’t have the basic foundations. This relationship is going nowhere.

3. I would have had a different answer for this 10 years ago, but now, I just wouldn’t stay in a relationship with such a person unless they were in therapy and actively working to get better.

4. Don’t. Bail.

   Life’s too short to waste on bullshit.

5. Unless they’re working on it, I don’t

6. My ex was extremely jealous to the point where I couldn’t compliment or like something a female friend of mine did without getting the whole “Who is Brittany and do you think she’s prettier than me?”, and couldn’t hold an opinion on another woman unless she (my ex) had a positive opinion and voiced it first.

   Point is, it’s tolerable in my opinion to have those jealous or insecure feelings but they need to be talked about and can’t be used as a weapon against the other person in a relationship. The person with the issues needs to understand that their partner is allowed to have their own thoughts and opinions, but cannot act on them. You can look, but you can’t touch, essentially.

7. She’s just jealous the cat likes me more than her. My secret is rubbing myself with catnip infused lotion in the morning.

8. Ignore it. If she’s jealous about fictional things she made up, there’s nothing I can do about it. If she’s doing it to get attention, she won’t get any. If she genuinely believes the things she made up, she’s going to have to make a decision whether to get over it on her own or if her imagination is going to end the relationship.

9. I don’t do exclusive relationships, so how someone is able to manage their own jealousy is a key thing I pay attention to when evaluating someone for more long term compatibility. When you are dating and having sex with other people, being able to manage your jealousy is almost as important than being able to manage your calendar.

10. I’m still close friends with a couple of my exes, so this tends to come out pretty quickly. I’m very up front about it.

    I see jealous for what I think it is – desire crossed insecurity. Sometimes it’s more desire, mostly its more insecurity.

    I don’t just ignore my partner’s feelings on the subject – I do try to make it easier for them to trust me, by being present, respectful and consistent. I’ll acknowledge and validate their feelings and be present. I’ll see, within reason if I can do anything to make her feel better while maintaining my friendships, such as meeting my friends.

    But I don’t suspend my other expectations around how my partner treats me. Work with me, not against me. I don’t bend over backwards and remove all my boundaries over it. Are they willing to try to confront their anxiety and are they willing to choose to trust me in it, and work build trust together? I’ll work with them and try to meet them in it.

    Are they going to try to control me, who I can and cannot be friends with or how I spend time with my friends (within reason) and/or act like a child over it? Are they being jealous over other things like people simply messaging me, women liking my social media, me following people who are women or issues with coworkers? Bye. And good riddance.

11. I don’t do shit, i have many friends that are girls, and if I go out alone with them I just tell my GF to trust me. She would start calling me a lot when I’m with them but I do not answer and keep going with my day.
    Than I talk to her as if nothing has happened.

    At the time of writing this she believes more in me and she stopped being jealous.