Are you supposed to be in pain after sex?

11 comments

1. Talk to him… Unless you’re into the pain afterwards (it doesn’t sound like it) you should make him aware that you don’t want to hurt.

2. You need to discuss it with him so he’s aware. I’m similar size and my partners have never complained. Consider more foreplay or using lube or even just slowing things down until you both get more familiar with your bodies.

3. Dude, sex should feel good, and leave you feeling good.

   If it doesn’t then that’s not the sex that you should be having.

   There is no normal. If someone else likes that then cool, good for them. If you don’t, the you don’t. Find what feels good, what you want more of, talk with your partner about it.

   Also … I think it’s really fucked up that your partner is able to have sex with you when it should be very obvious that you aren’t enjoying it…

   This is a huge red flag to me. Even if you discussed this before hand and explicitly said that this was what you wanted, there should be a level of concern for your wellbeing afterwards.

   How is the sex life overall? Does your partner give your enjoyment enough attention? Do you get off regularly?

4. You should go to your gynecologist and tell her sex is painful. She’ll ask some questions and give an exam to see if everything looks ok and feels ok to you. Be honest with your answers to her questions, even if you’re embarrassed

5. There is a normal when you’re speaking medically. Sounds like he’s hitting your cervix, since the vaginal canal is on average 6 inches deep. This can cause sharp cramping in your uterus.
   This is normal. Just ask him to not go so deep when you’re having rough sex

6. No! Not normal! Reconsider doing it with this brute, he’s not a considerate or good lover. You need to get checked out at Planned Parenthood and insist on lube!

7. You gotta tell him that its hurting you.

8. For me, lube and foreplay isn’t just nice to have, it’s necessary. I need both to not experience pain during penetration.

   The cramps are probably from him hitting your cervix, which I sometimes experience as well. This can happen even with lube and lots of foreplay, it’s just from the thrusting.

   If he has a big dick, he should know to be extra careful. Big doesn’t mean better.

9. I’m around your bf’s size and I always spend 20min plus on foreplay with my wife, otherwise it’s painful for her
   He’s not warming you up enough first

10. I recently had a sexual experience with a former friend that was somewhat similar to this. It was my first time having penetrative sex and it was just really rough (not violence as you were saying but really deep and hard very fast over and over). At first, I thought I didn’t deserve anything better than that. The next time I had sex with this person, I said no multiple times and he kept going and getting rougher. Every person is different so I’m not saying your partner would ever do that, but communication is so important and you shouldn’t feel like you’re not allowed to say something. I felt like I shouldn’t say something because I would sound naïve and dumb but YOUR VOICE IS ALWAYS IMPORTANT and if he doesn’t respect that, that’s important information to have.

11. >Just… is this normal and what do I do?

    Absolutely not.

    I have had rough sex with a 7 inch fwb that left me with cramps and I needed a heat pad for it. A couple times (but rare) the cramps were bad too, for 5-10 minutes.

    But I fully consented knowing the potential consequences of that because during sex it did really amazing so I loved it.

    But nothing that made me pass out and left me with tears.

    >My partner likes spontaneous rough sex.

    Do YOU like it??? That’s what matters here. Both people should like it for it to happen. Otherwise it needs to stop.