I (22F) am constantly hiding my own interests from people. Growing up I was an awkward af kid, constantly saying weird shit and having few friends. Now as an adult I have actual social skills and confidence, but I find myself constantly downplaying my own niche hobbies and hyperfixations to fit in. I have more traditional interests like reading fantasy, video games, anime, and kayaking, but deep down I’m also obsessed with history, geopolitics, art, dinosaurs, speculative evolution, linguistics, occultism, off-grid living, and a whole host of other weird shit. But at least in my small New England town, it’s hard to just bring these up when I know it’ll alienate 90% of people I talk to. I’m terrified of coming off as weird, even though I love seeing other weird people.
How do I get better at being my authentic self?
5 comments
Well, the first step is to understand your own feelings and values—what matters the most to you? Consider what brings you joy, sadness, fulfillment. Once you have a better understanding of yourself, then it’s easier to live in accordance with that knowledge. Don’t be afraid to take risks or to challenge convention; it’s only by taking chances that we can truly express our individuality.
Well, if your urge is just to find similarly minded people I’d say look online? But maybe that was implied.. 🙂
Good question. Either find club with this kind of activites/hobbies or create one ?
If that doesn’t work maybe go to the librairie in the matching sections. Initiate convo by sharing some references for exemple.
If that fails too, try online, discord and so on.
I’m actually having a similar issue OP. At the moment, my obscure interest is Cults, New Religious Movements and Dark Psychology, Social Connection and Charisma. No-one else really interested, unsure how to talk or share. It’s like buying bleach, rope and a shovel at the Supermarket… I feel like this selection of topics implies that I intend on doing something with it lol.
Going online is all well and good, but you want to spend time doing activities or going for a drink with these people; actual friendships!
The only advice I can give is to just throw it out there one day to a friend or two and use it as a way to find out if they have any weird niche hobbies/interests. I believe everyone has something that they are quite geeky about and it can be nice to hear people being passionate about something you know nothing about.
Still, in my case, anyone I’ve ever spoken to doesn’t have a weird thing they read or look at a lot; wondering if this is another issue for you too.
I think if someone doesn’t accept you for your interests then they are not the kind of friend you want in your life anyways. I’d say share when people ask you, or share lightly in conversation and if someone is interested in what you are saying then you can tell them more. Only dick heads think other people’s interests are lame