Judging you, making jokes at your expense, changing the subject when they don’t want to respond, ignoring you, provoking you with passive aggressive remarks, etc.
Imagine these people are coworkers, or classmates, or family you can’t really cut out of your life.
I usually just let them have their way, because I’m non-confrontational. I know how to outplay them in these social games, but I don’t out of lack of motivation (nothing really to gain other than ego) and because I’d rather not stoop down to their level. I call them out on their behaviour when it becomes excessive.
What’s the best way to handle these kinds of people?
10 comments
dont let them get to your head, and find other emotional outlets
“Weak people revenge, strong people forgive, intelligent people ignore” – Albert Einstein.
I go to work, some coworkers call me all kinds of derogatory names, swear at me for no reason, make jokes at my expense. And I usually don’t say anything other than “Yes sir” “No sir” “On it sir” and once in a while I’ll explain a concept to a new hire. I’ve been asked why I don’t respond rudely to coworkers being rude, and I think I said “I just don’t care what they say, they’re nobody to me.” He gasped, and I could tell the man that asked me that wished he could just not care like I don’t.
Look them up and down with a smirk of contempt then ignore. Or the grey rock thing
https://www.betterup.com/blog/grey-rocking
Don’t be around them ✅
It is allowed to respon in kind. Yet it is better to forgive and overlook. Use wisdom to apply this rule.
> but I don’t out of lack of motivation (nothing really to gain other than ego)
No, you should have a motivation to outplay them or cut them off as their is MORE to gain, not just ego boost.
First is, people unconciously respond to what what you’ve allowed previous people to respond to you. If you’re always getting judged and you don’t do nothing about it, people unconciously sense this and sooner or later, other people will do the same because there’s no punishment.
The motivation is to protect yourself from micro-aggressions, your self-esteem and your power in life. It’s like learning martial arts, you could definetly argue it’s for ego boost but most of the time, it’s to defend yourself from future attacks.
If you’re not ready to cut them out of your life yet then using the Grey Rocking method would be best for your own sake
T-pose on them to establish dominance
I think what you described is not a bad way .. First ignore, but when you get really tired of it show your teeth. THat’s how animals do it and as far as I’m concerned we still living that way.
I get some annoying behavior too from people around me, mostly colleagues that I actually like and look up to. One is calling me some nerdy nickname often, but since I’m on quite good terms with her, I would probably mention it to her at some point, be it in a message on messenger.
I had some older lady sitting right in front of me during breaks and I really looked up to her. LIke ‘this is what I want to be when Im 62’.. but then at one point I guess I said something wrong to my colleagues about people in their 60’s, which she overheard and she slammed me hard. She said i was the most boring person that she knew etcetc. I mean, I was always so nice to her, saying hello when everyone else was ignoring her. I think for me personally, I get nothing back of what I give to people, esp not in this workplace. So next break I really made a deal out of it that I was going to sit on my own at another table. I didn’t care what anyone said to me, and trust me, they all tried to convince me to just sit back in front of that lady. She even said I shouldn’t be making such a fuss about it all. She’s been nice to me eversince, but she’s also retiring soon so whatever. I just think you shouldn’t just play dead when they are making a fool out of you.. You will become the one that they can do whatever they want to, because they know there’s no negative consequence for them in it.
I’m all for showing them there are things you won’t tolerate.
When I was a young teen, I only got bullied once or twice. I do regret not having stood up for myself but since I am not used to being treated badly, I also don’t know when people are reall going too far. THat’s a point also: they will gradually do it more or do it worse, and you won’t know where to draw a line anymore. Maybe it’s good to at some point go mental on them all without warning and make them fear you because you became unpredictably angry haha.
Well don’t play social game. Ignore. If they go on, destroy them soooo much that they won’t try again. Roast the Fuck out of them so they will have to go to ER for third degree burns.