How many Canadian Geese do you think you could take on at once?

45 comments

1. I’d go with a solid 0.75 when on my own and about10 if they were attacking someone I love

2. Like 5 or 6

3. At least 50.. After I grab the first 2 and start using them as weapons to extend reach… it is just a matter of how long until my arms get sore….

4. Is this to the death? Probably about 10 to 15 although I’d be horribly injured.

5. Take on and defeat? Fuckin zero!

6. Depends how long I can windmill for… never seen how long I can windmill for.

7. If you give me a hockey stick I think I can handle one.

8. When I worked doing irrigation I had to fight off several with nothing but a bundle of flags…so several

9. If I had gun?? Or a flamethrower? None those bastards even looking at me would make me run SCREAMIN

10. Reminder: they’re birds with really long necks. That means hollow bones and lots of stuff to grab and torque. What are they gonna do? Flap you to death?

    I reckon I could take up to a gaggle at once. All you need is to get one by the neck, break it, then swing it around by its stupid face like a morningstar, using the body as a weapon against its friends.

11. I’d Say a solid 0.5

12. Cobra chickens!!!

    Maybe 2 but they freak me out with their hissing, reach and angry wobbling.

13. All of ’em.

14. All of them.

    Will I win? No, but I can take them all on.

15. Everyone has a plan against a seemingly weak animal, until that animal goes berserk on them. I’ve seen plenty of macho dudes run away from even an angry little rooster. lol.

16. I would take on the biggest, baddest one. Assert dominance on that mother and then the others would all follow me around. V formations course.

17. Would probably get tired around 800.

    Prove me wrong.

18. I’d run, because goose don’t give a fuck.

19. Geese are fucking mean. Am I wearing pants?

    If I’m buck-naked, the answer is “zero”

20. As many as I need (all of them). A single kick to a long necked, hollow bone bird is basically a direct ticket to hell, don’t even need to focus on killing but just disabling them and a lot of them will back up. Geese and swans are cowards, they will absolutely try to attack horses but once one of them gets 1 shot, they back up instantly.

21. With an axe about 1000 single handedly about 500 I think I can take out about 5000 in a day

22. I reckon I could take two at once, if a third one of their honk homies rocks up then my ass is getting got.

23. Depends. If they bite my nipples or dick, all the perpetrators.

    In any other case, It will be 0 because I’ll run away.

24. 1, but it has to be a chick. Like freshly hatched.

25. A lot. Geese are big, mean and scary.

    But they don’t actually have a lot of damage capabilities. They’re still significantly smaller than humans, they don’t have very effective claws and their beaks can’t bite very hard. They don’t have piercing structures in their mouths. Their wings can bat you around a bit but not that hard. They’ll break the skin and hurt like hell but they’re unlikely to break bones or cause serious bruising or bleeding.

    On the other hands, humans have killed geese just by kicking them too hard.

    Realistically, a goose vs a human is like a human with an airhorn vs a gorilla.

26. What is the context? Are we outdoors or in a room? Am I ambushing them or did we decide to meet up for the fight? Are they all working together or can I expect some infighting to occur?

27. With weapons, 42

28. Are wel talking like one at a time in an orderly fashion, one gets added every 30-45 seconds, or just get rushed by 100 geese at a time?

29. ive hunted canadian geese almost my whole life and as the dog guy i mostly handle the shot geese.

    fuckers are tough, even though i have significant experience mercy killing shot geese i dont think i could beat even two.

    i also know at least one person with a scar in her neck from a goose. was a pretty nasty wound. thing flew over her shoulder and the nail cought her.

    these fucjers are no joke

30. You got a problem with Canada Gooses you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate…

31. There is a reason geese have been used as guard animals for millenia.

    They are mean MF’s, especially in a group, and canada geese are aggressive.

32. Well it’s not just the gooses that you have to worry about if you decide to attack them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1exJGPZyhs

33. Oof. I wouldn’t wanna kill ‘em but if I did I could probably take like 6. Keeping them unharmed or at least alive? That’s harder. Maybe 3?

34. If I was really trying and they were really trying? 6 to 10. They are mean pricks, but major factor is they have no meaningful way to harm me beyond flying into me or mildly hurting me with bites. I can snap their necks and beat them. If I was allowed a weapon like a bat, you could double that easy.

    Source: I am Canadian and live in an area where they spend a fair bit of time.

35. OK are they Canadian geese, or American geese?

    The canada goose that is found all over north america can be a worthy opponent. As a hunter and farmer, all at once I could handle four with no weapons. Step on the necks of 2 and strangle 2. But, maybe more if I can get their feet. Birds become mostly paralyzed if you hold them upside down.

    Now, those Canadian canada geese are crazy, they just say sorry a lot and fly away.

36. Am I carrying my knife? If so, then as many as I have to.

37. All of them.

    Don’t underestimate me bud!

38. Only one, then the RCMP show up and I get arrested because Canadian Geese have citizenship.

    Canada Geese though? I figure about five.

39. ALL.

40. This begs a few followup questions.

    Are there other nationalities of geese? How would you stack up against, say, an Armenian goose?

41. Depends. Am I armed with a weapon?

42. Dunno, until I get tired I guess. I used to field goal them when they ran at me as a teenager. The smart ones usually stayed away after the first one. The stubborn ones take 5+ sometimes. They get it eventually. And anyone who says its cruelty, they are the pigeons, sparrows, and starlings of the goose world. Can do with a few less.

43. All of them. Every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals. I hate them!

44. None. Cobra chickens are not to be fucked with.

45. I’d never run from a fucking goose. Too much neck I can strangle, and as previously stated, use it’s corpse as a Billy club on his friends