So my boyfriend (25M) and 23(F) have been seeing each other since April of last year. We took a month a part and started things up again in july. In the beginning of our relationship we didn’t really put a label or anything on it we just kind of hand out, and we were pretty intimate with each other, but he wasn’t very romantic. I thought he just kept me around as an easy booty call and i honestly didn’t care that much cause i wasn’t looking for anything too serious either. But in August we had made things official. He’s very loving and caring. We’re always together unless we’re at work, we sleep together every night, we cook for each other etc. But lately we haven’t been having sex as much as we used to. I don’t know if it’s because he’s not attracted to me anymore or if he’s just insecure (he a little thick) about his weight and doesn’t want to feel self conscious, or if he’s just tired after work.
Sometimes I’ll give him head to try to initiate something but it just ends up with him cumming and me not getting anything in return.
I’ve been a little bit in over my head about this cause because the main reason we started seeing each other was to get in bed with one another and now we only have sex like maybe once a week or sometimes two weeks will go by. So because we aren’t getting intimate together like that anymore I don’t know if i’m still wanted. Lately it feels like he justa wants to cuddle and watch tv until he goes to sleep. I don’t know if i’m the problem or what it is.
overall all i’m asking is how do i approach the subject without making him feel like he’s being attacked or that i’m insinuating an issue that isn’t there?
3 comments
Make him feel attractive x
Your hints might point out that he is tired or exhausted from something (perhaps work)? Cuddling and not wanting sex for a while can be sane from time to time but you guys should discuss about it.
There is no way around it and we say it too much but it’s true…communication is the key. Talk with him in a non-treathening way and let him know of you worries. Take the opportunity to highlight what you like from him but also your needs.
One thing that I think you should address too is the fact that you give him head and he won’t return the favor. You’re entitled to have standards in a relationship and this should be part of it.
I’d suggest using words… “I’d like to have sex more often. ” “I need to be satisfied by your tongue.” whatever it takes. You need to communicate with him.
Also, it’s pretty normal for a lot of couples for frequency of sex to decrease after you’ve been together for a while. Once a week is still pretty “often” by a lot of married couple standards. Sure, there’s some people that do it daily or more often, but I don’t think that’s the norm.