I used to be friends with one girl in 2013-2017 but we have never met. After 2017 I pretty much destoryed our friendship. I had some problems with her behavior but didn’t confront her about it so I grew inner hatred towards her. I know that it’s awful thing to do but I was 15 back then and I had a lot of problems with setting boundaries and speaking out when I’m hurt about something. Doesn’t justify anything tho.

I was annoyed by her at that time, I just wanted her to stop texting me so I started acting cold. She eventually did and I could tell she was hurt by my behavior but I never admitted that I was indeed tired of her or that I ever had any problems with her during our friendship. Again – so cruel of me.

We still have some sort of contact. We follow each other on twitter and since 2017 we texted a bit but it was usually things like her asking me for advice/help with something. Sometimes she likes my posts or comments on them. I rarely initiate contact, I feel too guilty? ashamed? to do this. I have this mindset that if you do someone wrong long time ago then you should not be the one to reach out first cause maybe that persone does not want to revive bad memories with you.

But since a year we live in the same city and go to the same university and I frequently think about the fact that we have never met. I don’t hold any grudges anymore. I am actually sorry for how I basically ghosted her. At the same time I don’t feel need to revive our friendship but I wished we met for a beer or something. Just think it’s so dumb that we have never met.

But am I the right person to suggest it? Why she never suggested it? Is it because she actually doesn’t wanna have anything to do with me or does she thinks I still hate her? But she did text me a couple of times since that as I said before, so maybe she does not care anymore and there is no thought behind the reason of it?

I just feel like it would be inconsiderate for me to propose it. What do you think?

1 comment
  1. Ask her whether she wants to meet up. Only way to really find out. Leave it open ended though so she doesn’t feel forced or anything.

    I think it’s safe to say that people don’t want things to be unresolved. Of course there are also lots of people who let you fuck up once and then cut you out of their life completely. From what you wrote I figure there might be a way to rekindle the friendship.

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