My boyfriend explained to me that when I use my hand down there, he doesn’t really get anything from it unless it’s my mouth and that sex is not as good in comparison because women feel all the pleasure while for men the whole point is cumming to feel it. I understand women have more nerves and sensitivities in their vagina, but I never thought that men don’t get much out of sex until they cum! Could someone confirm the experience?
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My dick def feels good during sexual activities of all variety. He’s probably just used to a hand from masturbating
He’s full of shit.
Source – me, a dude.
Guys have multiple sensitive areas and are totally capable of feeling pleasure from being aroused, teased, and/or even edged. It’s more likely that jerking off to porn an excessive amount has reduced his patience and understanding of sex to only caring about the finish. Quickies are fun, blow jobs are great, but nothing beats finally cumming after half an hour or more of build up. And seeing and knowing your partner is enjoying and having a good time is a pretty great feeling as well.
Yes and no. Remember men are more visual by nature. So for us seeing your use your mouth and the sensation is more than just feeling “a” hand. Penetration is one thing the build up to climax is another.
> he doesn’t really get anything from it unless it’s my mouth
“That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off for ’em.”
> Could someone confirm the experience?
Yeah, that’s not a thing. Basically, he is trying to say, “Give me more blowjobs!” without saying “Give me more blowjobs!”
Personally, I think there are many facets towards “pleasure” when it comes to sex and it’s not just the physical aspect of things. Anatomically speaking, I believe women tend to have more nerve endings to the their clitoris and thus may be more sensitive than men do to the glans of their penis.
But sex and pleasure is often more than just rubbing and thrusting, and includes emotional and spiritual components as well, and many people can feel a sense of “pleasure” from many things
For me, I derive greatest pleasure going down on and truly giving to a woman, and feeling/hearing her ecstasy is what truly gets me off and not any amount of sucking nor penetrative sex can amount to that
We get plenty. But yes, due to nerve endings, and the possibility of multiple orgasms, women can get even more. I do have to mention, that although women can have more, it is easier for a guy to have one
Everyone is difference but i get more pleasure from a good handjob then a good blowjob.
Men love to talk about a tight pussy but a hand has way more grip strenght then the majority of pussy.
I’m not sure one or both of you is explaining it correctly. I’m a man and I get pleasure from many different outlets or ways during sex.
Maybe he was referring to orgasms. Men ejaculate, they have a guaranteed orgasm we’re told and from experience as a man, I believe that is correct.
Women we’re told get orgasms at various times throughout sex (if the circumstances are right, including having a good partner).
I can’t say for sure all men can say that. So perhaps that’s what he meant. I ejaculate, I orgasm. Whether it’s from hand stimulation, oral, or penetration etc. Some can feel more heightened than others, but for me it’s random.
No one way for me is the only way. Hope that makes sense.
If that were true then women would be much more likely to orgasm with every sexual encounter. How often do men not cum in a sexual encounter compared to women? He’s full of shit.
It’s probably true for him.
In the bedroom, I would stay away from generalizing what your partner needs based on gender (even if they do it) and just ask them what they like and don’t like. I enjoy handjobs and most foreplay but it seems like hanjobs might be a thing to stop doing for him because he isn’t getting pleasure. Nothing wrong with you or him, just adjustments so you both have a good time during sex.
Also, I can see what he means with the whole point being about cumming. A lot of men are taught that they can only be turned in one way. I even used to not have that much pleasure in bed because I thought cum was the only way. Definitely make him feel comfortable to explore anything else you guys wanna try, I’m sure he just hasn’t found something that makes him feel pleased yet 🙂
From the subject I was like “Well, we’ll never really know because even with the ability to transition, I don’t think it’s a exact translation of sensation.”
But from the body, erm, he’s full of crap. We have plenty of sensation all over our body and cumming isn’t the end all be all of our ability to feel sensation with our partner. We have plenty of erogenous zones. I dunno, maybe he doesn’t all people are different but as a cisgender male I certainly do.
He better hope he never gets in a car accident and loses all sensation in his penis.
We do get pleasure from it, but I agree with your bf to a certain point. Handjobs are my least favorite sexual activity. The reason is simple. No matter how good a girl is at it, I can always do it better myself due to my almost 30 years of experience with regularly doing it myself. There’s also the fact that I’d much rather have my partners do things that I can’t do myself. So while he’s likely wrong in saying that he doesn’t feel pleasure, he most likely means that he enjoys other things much more- probably asking for blowjobs instead.
That’s kind of a dumb take on his part. Women have about the same amount of nerve endings as men just packed into a smaller spot so when that spot is hit maybe women feel it more intensely and have more muscles contracting but there are definitely ways to activate the same response in men, some people just don’t have the big explosive response from piv.
Lol what. I’ve never heard a guy say they don’t get pleasure from their dick except when it’s time to cum- he may want to consult a doctor
That is hilarious, because I am a woman and I am struggling in my sex life due to lack of feeling pleasure. Foreplay is not pleasurable, PIV is not pleasurable.
I will just continue laughing but I know not all women are like that.
Haha, why didn’t I try this one before I got married.
The poor guy. I think you should have compassion for him and peg him repeatedly every night as foreplay since his dick is so numb.🙄
I’ve gotta hand it to him, that is a very bold banquet of bullshit he has served you. 😂
I think women getting more pleasure and better orgasms than us in general, but it feels pretty damn good to me too though!
A good BJ is hard to beat though.
I agree with others here. Although to some extent hand jobs can be annoying, because honestly, it’s hard to beat the hand job I give myself already unless you’re doing other stuff too.
Your BF is an immature idiot who is manipulating you.
Since everyone else is pointing out the obvious BS, I’d just like to say that *vaginas* aren’t actually all that sensitive in the grand scheme of things, however the *Clitoris* is.
He’s trying to pull a sneaky on ya! Then again he could also be desensitized from a ridiculous amount of wanking.
Yeah, while biologically women do have a higher number of nerves in that area, he is trying to use it as a ploy.
I recommend that the next time he brings it up, you bring up that you care about his pleasure, and you found out that the male “G-spot” is stimulated through the rectum, so you plan on pegging him, so that there is no inequality.
Maybe he doesn’t mean physically, but mentally. He doesn’t feel the need to get a hanjob from you because he can do it well himself, but a blowjob is fun!
Some people (both men and women) are just not as sensitive. Same goes with women. Some don’t feel any pleasure in their vagina. But they cannot speak for anyone else, regardless of gender.
It gets problematic with someone tries to speak on behalf of their gender.
My bf and fwb are very sensitive. Touching with my hands can give them pleasure.
Absolutely unconfirmed. If you blue ball someone all day that’s one thing but everything leading up to the orgasm feels incredible no matter what part of the body you are using to stimulate.
He’s full of it. I get every bit as much pleasure from edging as I do from an actual orgasm. Hands, mouth, vagina, butthole, ALL feel amazing in their own special way.
I think he just wants more blowjobs lol
It’s true for some guys, not for others. Just like some women have multiple orgasms from penetration, some can’t cum without a vibrator, some can’t at all.
What IS true in general is that most women have the potential to experience more physical pleasure than men can. The average female orgasm is a good bit more intense than the average male orgasm, for example.
But to get back to your point – for most guys, sex and handjobs feel great. That doesn’t mean your boyfriend is lying though, because everyone is different.
Does he masturbate a lot? Death grip syndrome? Sometimes men can lose sensitivity if they get used to death grip masturbation. Also, could be a mental block, could be too much porn and he needs to see you in a submissive posture to get off.
I’m pretty sure men have orgasms every time they have sex. How many women can say that?
No, that could be from masturbation issues with jerking so hard that it’s not as sensitive anymore unless it’s oral sex.
It could also be sadly, from when he was circumcised (that’s if he was!), where they snipped a nerve a bit that reduced sensation on the shaft.
Also you could be gripping it not tight enough. I’ve had ex’s tell me it doesn’t feel much if I’m not gripping it more. He may need more grip from you.
Ask him to show you how tight your hand should be around his shaft.
There are lots of articles and studies and kinks and fetishes that get into who feels more “pleasure” from sex.
Typically, the resounding answer is women do, based purely on scientific reasoning that women have more erogenous zones with more nerve endings.
So, take that for what it’s worth.
But, based solely on your boyfriend’s point of view, I would have to disagree with him. I get a ton out of having sex. Emotional. Physical. Psychological. Nothing has to do with mouth vs hand vs vagina vs etc.
The whole point is NOT cumming. At all.
I respect his view point. I feel bad for him actually if this is his view point. But, don’t agree with him at all based on me.
He should start his statement with I/ME. Not ALL MEN.
Every man is different honestly just as women are.
Some men can orgasm just by being close to their partner and seeing it. Some men stroke themselves too hard thus making sex and oral not as pleasurable. Some men prefer one style of sex over others due to their fantasies.
Just like women who either struggle orgasming with the lights on, or who used vibrators so vigorously that their clit has lost sensation for oral or fingering pleasure. You have some women who like gaping themselves and so if they get with a man like you have, the likelihood of him orgasming by penetration will be none existent thus leading to flaccid penetration.
That’s why it’s up to both sides to express themselves and help each other to feel satisfied.
Hope this helps explain things…
Bottom line:
The ultimate goal of sex is orgasming..if your not orgasming your desire to have sex dwindles over time with your partner making it feel more like a chore then a enjoyable connection.
I live to pleasure the one in going to for when I need a good stress down lay down…and my mouth is amazing he says and when I lime to play around or really just enjoy seeing him crawl the walls…I tend to HSE my mouth in certain ways he enjoys and I’ll imuse my hand and mouth in certain ways that drives him wild…and that aine I get all the enjoyment I could possibly wanr.
I mean, from my experience when the sex is really good (from my end) I feel this indescribable sensation in my hands, arms, and chest that, along with down there, feels incredible — almost like the sensitivity turns up to 11 and tingles
Well, in my experience, my bf enjoys every part of it… And feels pleasure even before orgasm 🤨
It could be the fact that if he’s in any way a considerate person in bed, he’s not 100% focused on his own pleasure. He’s also trying to please you. So while it still feels good, it’s also really easy to get into your own head “is this fast enough? Is she enjoying it? Should I do the leg flip thing now? Oh, right there? Don’t stop? Think about baseball, think about baseball.”
During a BJ, he can just focus on himself. And that can lead to it just feeling better at times.
I’m one of those men who just doesn’t feel much – mentally it’s awesome to have my dick going in and out of a woman, but physically there’s little “pleasure” until it’s almost time to cum. That said, you don’t just generalize these things to “all men” – directed to OP’s boyfriend as well as the top commenters in this thread. **Everyone is different.**
when women aren’t aroused or relaxed they can’t feel anything but pressure and pain in their vaginas… super common to feel zero pleasure from vaginal penetration (only 10-15% of women can even orgasm from PIV), and lots of women don’t find PIA pleasurable either, or digital penetration
so ya, I absolutely call bs on the inaccurate generalization
also the majority of men self-pleasure with their own hand on their penis so that part is pretty bs too
You could have literally googled that question. You deserve a better boyfriend he just wants oral. There’s nothing wrong with it but he’s manipulating you and why do you want to be with someone who’s manipulating you?
http://modelmugging.org/crime-within-relationships/abusive-personality-behavior/