TRIGGER WARNING

My girlfriend has been revealing things about herself for the past month ever since we bumped into her past therapist whom I had no idea who she was. So in explaining who the therapist is, she started telling me things about herself. One of these things is that she confessed to watching CP for a long period of time. I say it’s in “the past” because that’s how she framed it. But it was just 2 years ago. This was just so disturbing. I normally don’t like to dwell on people’s past mistakes, but the magnitude of this act cannot be overlooked. What infuriated me is that she framed it such that she was somehow the victim — she was trying to say she was lonely or depressed or whatever, and was just dismissive of what watching that stuff implies. I tried to just hint that this is disgusting behavior, and she was like “oh I appreciate you’re worried about me, but I’m doing fine!!” Then when I plainly told her it’s unforgivable, she twisted my words, suggesting I’m shaming her for posting nudes online, something she also admitted to (which I sincerely don’t care about here).

What’s worse is that there’s a big possibility she lied about where she got it from. She said that she “got them from a chatroom on the darkweb”. I asked her for details, she changed her story. It’s hard to believe that people just hand over that shit like that, she must’ve **deliberately** sought it and possibly paid for it somehow.

I can’t look at her. I feel like I hate her guts. She shows no remorse or recognition of how fucked up she is and it’s making me angry. How do I deal with her?

26 comments

  2. NOPE. This is a red flag, the fact that she told you about it only after running into her therapist and instead of being accountable for her illegal and predatory actions is now gaslighting you (telling you you’re concerned about something else and trying to convince you that you’re attacking her) and acting like the victim. RUN.

  4. Time to bail on this relationship imo. Do you really want suspicion to be cast on you if/when the truth comes out about her?

  7. Holy shit. You don’t look at CP because you’re lonely. You look at it because you’re a sicko. She can go to jail for this and I’d seriously consider dumping her and talking to the police.

  8. This is very bad. Very very bad. You must leave. She masterbated to cp. That is really sick behavior. Those poor children:(

  9. End the relationship and cut contact with her. It is very strange that she just spoke about consuming that content, I am not sure what reaction she was hoping to get?

  10. If that’s not a dealbreaker, then what is? Where is the line? Even if someone had gone to therapy and worked hard to explore why they did that, I’d have a hard time having any sort of bond with them. To watch children be brutalized for her entertainment and flippantly try to excuse it because it was “in the past” or “she was lonely” shows that she is neither mature nor empathetic, doesn’t understand truly why it’s wrong, and has done nothing to rectify the issue. Don’t give her the chance to try and water it down. Dump this psycho from your life and report her if at all possible.

  11. Sorry I’m often for therapy and working it out but not here

    That said her perspective is worrying and she really should seek counseling. She should also cooperate with police to help remove the sources of this.

    What should you do ? End the relationship and ask a legal person for options about what you now know.

    You may also want counseling to work through this

  13. This isn’t someone you want to stay with.

    Any child family members you have will not be safe around her.

    And God forbid you have a kid with her.

    She’s disgusting

  15. Some people use the term CSAM or Child Sexual Abuse Material to describe it. I think that covers what it implies very well- some child was abused in horrific ways to create that content, and the people who watch it are creating demand for children to be abused.

    You’re having an absolutely normal reaction to finding this out.

    One thing gives me a little pause though- I’m pretty sure therapists are mandated reporters for this sort of thing. She would already have been reported and sentenced in that case- is there any indication that she was investigated? Could she be making all this up as some kind of sick joke (in which case also you should leave her and report her, so it won’t really change the outcome for you).

  17. Break up with her. Anyone who could watch CP willingly is a disgusting, subhuman piece of shit. The fact this was a long-term thing she did is fucking creepy and evil.

  18. You report her, and move on.

    As someone who was sexually molested by a woman when I was 5, she is filth. Period. End of discussion.

  19. I wouldn’t associate with someone who admitted to that, No matter how I feel about them.

  20. I can’t even type out how sick this makes me. She should rot in jail for the rest of her life. How can someone get off on the torture of children. That’s so beyond fucked

  22. Dump her. There’s just no excuse for that. It’s disgusting. There’s a market for it because of people like her. She’s a criminal. Also, if she does it again at your house or with a device you own just being in possession of it in your house will ruin your life. I wouldn’t risk being with her or raising children with her. She’s a sick person.

  24. Are you sure she isn’t a CSA survivor and this is a copingcontrol mechanism? to be so open and having a therapist seems like a cry for help?

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