Hello! I’m (25F) back in the dating scene after a year. Exploring dating girls again after a hiatus, been about a year since my last serious relationship (happened to be with a man). I’ve been on two dates w a very gorgeous and charming woman (27F) who I have a lot of chemistry with, but who has already done a few small things that to me are red (pink?) flags. Namely, she described her ex as a narcissist (always a possibility she was one, but I have found through experience to be a bit wary of people who over-diagnose / villainize their exes) and generally seems to have a fair amount of drama in her personal life. Also, despite the fact that we had only gone out once or twice, she expressed frustration that I didn’t want to commit to talking on the phone with her once a day. When I said that was too much expectation of contact for someone I essentially am still getting to know, she did react normally and back off.
It’s hard to meet queer women, and even harder to find one I get along with this naturally, but as someone who does not thrive with a clingy or dramatic partner, I’m a bit thrown off by this allusion to what seems to be immediate intensity and expectation in her personal life. Do I chalk up my suspicion of her drama to my own damage, or take it seriously into account as a red flag?
TLDR Get along really well with someone I just started seeing but am wary of the way she’s discussed past relationships and her high expectations right off the bat. Do I listen to my gut even though I enjoy spending time with her, or give her the benefit of the doubt and see it through?
2 comments
It’s the demand for everyday phone calls that are too much.
I think you’ve correctly identified that this is someone who would be very difficult to be in a relationship with. I’d be very, very wary.
Red Flags for sure… Y’all barely know eachother and her expectations of you already seem unreasonable..