I’ve been friends with this girl for about 6 months or so now, we’ve really hit it off and I have had a crush on her for a while now. she had gone through a breakup with her ex (about 3 months ago now) and I’ve been there to support and talk to her about it to make sure she’s okay etc. she’s shown SOME signs she likes me?? started calling me cute (on text) after her breakup, using heart emojis in text, we literally hang out so often now too, she invites me over to her dorm all the time, get bubble tea together, sometimes we go to the mall, watch movies, play games etc. we literally talk on like 4 different apps at one point (discord, WhatsApp, instagram, snapchat; on snapchat I am literally her BFF we both have the red heart next to each other’s contact) her personality is also quite interesting as we flirt A LOT on text; some of this has been carried irl but we both just play it off before it gets awkward. I don’t really know how to go about this because I have a feeling she just sees be as a guy best friend, but then she says stuff like “I wish someone had a crush on me” and “I wish someone would love me” “I wish someone would give me my first flowers” (her ex never got her flowers ever) which makes me wonder what exactly is going through her mind. she freely tells me about dudes at our uni she has “potential crushes” on and shows me the creepy Instagram DMS she gets from random dudes hitting on her which makes me wonder what she even sees me as. I’m not the type to be super assertive and constantly make moves on her irl which is why I thought I would ask for help here; how can I tell her I like her? or should I even bother with it in the first place?
edit: I also forgot to mention how right after her breakup she suggested we both go on “casual dates” (casual as in get dressed, go somewhere have fun, go home, nothing else) because we had both been going through relationship issues at the time. this was incredibly odd to me and I actually turned it down saying I’m not into casual dates because I would rather it have been the real thing (I didn’t mention this part). this was right after her breakup so I’d ASSUME there was no feelings towards me at that time but I still found it a very odd suggestion
tl;dr I have a crush on a friend who I hang out with quite a lot but idk how to go about doing it
3 comments
I guess she see you only as friend but if you ready to ask her could she dates with guy like you then you must be ready she’ll say no and then your friendship will stop but I think it’s worth it to ask because if you wouldn’t ask and stay friends and she’ll date someone else then it’ll break your heart even worse. How to start to ask? Drink some beer together and have open talk.
I know you said you’re not usually assertive but, based on what you’ve written, she has given you every sign in the book to tell you she likes you and I think it would be safe for you to make some kind of move. If you don’t want to be super direct with your feelings, another way could be by asking for clarity on hers. Saying something like “I get the feeling that you like me with how much we interact, the sweet names you call me, etc, and I just want to know if I’m reading into this or if it’s true”
She gave you a big opening – I would send her (or give her) a bouquet of flowers with a card that reads “I have a crush on you.” It will go one of two ways – she’ll either say “finally!” Or she will let you know she just wants to be friends. Either way it will be better to have your answer. Good luck!