I’m (25M) a submissive man–who coincidentally happens to also be short and weak. I’d prefer to follow my GF/wife’s lead in a relationship than do the leading or even have equal power. I know male submission is unpopular among women, but it’s innate to me; dominance is not, nor is it something I want to have. I’m not a femboy or have long hair or anything, but I look for things in women that many women look for in men. That’s why the word “feminine” is in the title.
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What makes this bizarre (at least from my POV) is that I am an egalitarian Christian. Most Christians are complementarian, meaning they believe that traditional gender roles are a Biblical mandate in the church and marriage. Egalitarians do not, although most I’ve seen preach having equal power in marriage. An egalitarian Christian who wants a female-led relationship is ***exceptionally*** rare.
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Anyways, on top of wanting to be led as a man, I look for traits in women that society deems “masculine”. Traits such as…Leadership/dominance, protectiveness, courage, heroism, stoicism, being logically driven, provision, and generally just being a tomboy. Traditional masculinity in women, or just being a sporty tomboy, is attractive to me. ESPECIALLY physical strength. It’s ***extremely*** attractive if a woman has strength and muscle, whether they’re athletic, muscular, or even strongfat. Or stocky/thicc if you’re not a fan of that last word. Honestly, tallness (5’6 and above) is on the list too and preferred over shortness, but I care more about strength and athleticism.
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In terms of what I’d bring to the table, firstly, I’m willing to be either be the primary breadwinner or a Stay-At-Home-Boyfriend/Husband. But apart from that, I’d very much like to play the feminine role in a relationship. Cooking and cleaning for my woman, emotionally nurturing them after a hard workday or unfortunate event, being physically weaker than her and even giving her some lovely children. Basically, I’d be a Malewife.
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So to the ladies and gentlemen, I have to ask. What do you have to say? Do you have any advice on how to find the Wonder Woman to my Steve Trevor, any words on what I’m looking for in a partner, experiences with dominant/masculine women or submissive/feminine guys, just…anything at all?
15 comments
Just watch out for someone who’s into that as a phase. I’d try to look for someone who’s had a history of such relationships, to reduce the chance that after a few years they feel the call of traditional gender roles and revert. A lot more women *say* they want a feminine man than can actually follow though long term.
I really think you’ll do better than you think lol.
You are a simp. With this mentality, women are going to crush your soul. Women don’t respect simps, they abuse them and throw them away for a guy with abs.
Get some confidence. Maybe work out. Forget about women. Work on yourself.
Being submissive is one thing, but women such as that can get tired of people assuming that’s all they want. What you’re offering is pretty great, try not to play too hard into the ideal early on, as the right woman should earn what you bring as well. If they’re as intelligent as you want, you may want to consider more ways to be a partner before they get bored.
You are going to have a very difficult time finding what you want. Like a really difficult time. I don’t think you’re going to find what you want. It’s kind of…let’s say…weird as shit. The only advice I have for you is to get ready for disappointment.
You’re really on the wrong sub and the wrong platform in general to get good advice on this topic.
There are women who will want what you have to offer but you will have to look for them.
In the meantime you need to work on some of the toxic stereotypes you seem to be buying into and learn to regard yourself and others as individuals rather than as stereotypes.
People here can tell you that you can find someone or whatever, and if that’s what you want to hear great. However, in reality, this is likely to end in sadness and failure for you. Women don’t want a weak and timid man.
If those are your standards then you’re going to have a rough time! I have a strong personality and would never get with a guy that’s a pushover.
I bet you’ll have better luck than you might think. The internet and popular media seem to think that women only go for ultra masculine men, but that’s not true. Women look for compatibility and companionship with people they get along with. It sounds like you are great at getting along with other people.
If you’re on dating apps, I’d say put that “looking for the Wonder Woman to my Steve Trevor” line in your bio. Or set your age preferences a little higher. Older people are more likely to be established in their career and be interested in a house spouse. Another way to meet someone could be fetish events and FetLife. It can be a space where submissive men are more accepted and there is a high concentration of dominant women.
The right woman will be lucky to have you as a partner! As a woman, dating for us so often involves shrinking ourselves, restraining our ambition, and boosting up a man’s ego. So many women would love to date someone where they don’t have to do that.
I would say first off, you don’t need to tell the woman that. Or anyone outside of the internet.
If it’s just a preference, and not a kink.
Why can’t you just be a normal human who wants to take care of their spouse? The things you mentioned you want to do are normal things, admirable traits even. But if you make it weird, then it’s weird.
You’re probably going to be better off finding a bisexual woman. Bisexual people are HUGE into role reversal!
Come to Ireland the men are all in the pub so they don’t have to be bossed around at home 😂 you will be spoilt for choice
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Hispanic women are very often dominant personalities in relationships, & ‘head of the household’ at home. Thats good practical advice. Think about culture when looking for a particular type of woman. Good luck
Umm.. this may sound harsh, but the women you’re attracted to probably will not be attracted to you. In the end, the will probably end up leaving you for someone else or resenting you. This is just a bit unrealistic