I have constantly been somewhat annoyed with my words effort during sex, but over the last seven years, we have sex frequently, so it can be easy to put it to the back of my mind.
It’s getting to a tipping point, thanks to last night.
Firstly, I will say that my wife can’t orgasm via penetration, so I always make sure she gets off during foreplay either by hands, oral or occasionally a toy.
I wanted my wife all of yesterday but, as we have young children, it has to wait until the evening. So, I playfully flirted all day.
Anyway, I was doing the foreplay, teasing her body for a while before oral and the rest for a good 20 minutes, but it wasn’t going to happen. So she asks me to stop. So I go to spoon/cuddle and start kissing her neck, and she pushes me away, saying, “I can’t be bothered now”. And at this point, my arousal is through the roof. Luckily that annoyed me, so that dampened out.
But it got me thinking, what does she do? I put all that time Into foreplay every time we have sex, then all the effort for 20 to 40 minutes of penetration.
She hardly gets on top and never finishes me off with oral, and she occasionally lets me finish over her breasts (I’ve told her I like these things), and that’s about as extreme as my wants go.
I know you don’t give to receive, but something would be nice!
I don’t always feel like putting the effort in during foreplay, but it’s not for me. I can only dream of what it would be like if we were having sex, and she could tell I was getting close and just pushed me off and finished me with her mouth. I would feel like I had died and gone to heaven!
I don’t know if I’m overreacting, but I do know I am in limbo right now. Sexually frustrated but have no desire to engage in the act either with my wife or solo!
3 comments
You have a young child. How’s her workload vs your’s with the kiddo? Particularly under 10, kids are a massive amount of work and tire their parents. Are the dishes and laundry done? How much of that is she doing?
I know I’ve had hard days, but when the dishes are done, there isn’t 3 loads of laundry waiting in the basement, and the house is straightened up, I’m gonna be more receptive to sex.
As far as foreplay, a 10-20 minute back rub is all I need.
Little kids are exhausting. She may feel touched out by the end of the day. Do you compliment her throughout the day? Tell her she is sexy?? Help out when she is least expecting it? Send her a text at a random time in the day to tell her you thought about her and it made you smile. Flirt. Kiss her when you come home. Tell her she is beautiful. It may be one sided for a bit. When you do get the reaction you want, tell her it was amazing and you thought about it all day at work. Tell her she drives you crazy in all the good ways. Kiss her on the back of her neck and walk away. Don’t expect that all of these things will lead to sex that day/night. Let it brew. Build it.
Mistresses are a thing for a reason…