Okay, so I’m a woman and I’m a bit socially awkward, I admit and accept that fact. At this point its just who I am. The only problem is that my awkwardness kinda gets in the way of dating because I sometimes find it difficult to carry a conversation, especially when i just met them. I said this to my bff, who is a guy, and he practically scoffed, saying if you’re hot, men won’t even care if you’re awkward. He claimed that some guys actually find awkward girl kinda cute, especially since most don’t know how to talk to one in the first place either. Now if you’re an awkward guy, you’re screwed, according to him.
Personally, I find awkward guys kinda charming. I just can’t trust someone who’s too charming, I don’t know it just seems good to be true. And seeing as I’m also awkward, we can both be awkward together.
So what do you guys think?
20 comments
Every man here is going to say men.
As an autistic girl who’s socially awkward, I still think men struggle a bit more at least in the aspect of dating. Mainly because they can be considered weird or creepy. On the other end, women will probably be considered weird or clingy, but they won’t get considered as outright creeps.
Men struggle with dating more (obviously considering men outnumbered women a lot on dating apps) and with the added awkwardness/social anxiety, it becomes even harder for everyone, especially people already at a disadvantage.
I love shy and awkward men too. I get along with them better because I’m like them and I can relate/understand them. I’m dating an autistic guy who’s usually really awkward but I’ve loved seeing him come out of his shell as he’s gotten more comfortable with me.
But everyone, male or female, who is shy, awkward, has social anxiety or a social disability etc. will struggle more than the average person.
Awkward man. There’s nothing a woman could do to be unattractive to men really. Every negative trait turns into a cute quirk with the halo effect. I’d date an autistic girl in a heartbeat, not that I’d have the chance with how ugly I am.
As a socially awkward but kinda hot lol woman I can say that it’s harder for men, even the good looking ones. I could be wrong but I feel like men are teased about it more, making the more timid and less likely to approach women. And since it’s usually men who take the first step, you as a woman are more likely to be approached.
I’m not sure it matters whether it’s worse for men or women.
People love to dismiss other peoples struggles when they feel like they have it worse.
Your friend should try to listen to you rather than just apply his perception of how things go to you and your life.
Depends on your looks.
It’s both bad. One you’ll just have men who want to take sexual advantage of you and nothing else and the other you’ll have women ignoring your existence. I personally would prefer to have my existence ignored than be a target of predatory men
Obviously man since woman don’t approach.
Probably woman.
From what I’ve seen in the UK and much of Western Europe a socially awkward man mostly gets ignored or occassionally laughed at then called a creepy jerk by a few other men & some women who haven’t grown out of being high school bullies.
Whilst a socially awkward woman tends to be a magnet for mass malice, sexual harassment, targeted by all manner of predators, bombarded with accusations of being a ‘mad woman’/’snob’/destined to be alone with cats and then told that she should feel grateful for all the unwanted attention bad apples of all genders have chucked her way.
Depends on how attractive you are. The more attractive you are the less of personality you need. Attractiveness gets more chances to match. Until time does it’s job and now you’re old and unattractive and you never figured out how to be interesting to other because you didn’t have to.
Obviously an awkward man has it worse. The awkward girl can still get dates. The awkward male cannot. Not unless he has money, then he’s only equal to the awkward girl, who does not even need to have money to be his ‘equal.’
The math is pretty simple on this one.
I’m one of those awkward men.
In my experience, it wasn’t too bad earlier in life when things like school, university, my job at a supermarket etc., put me in repeated contact with men and women my own age. Because people would warm to me over time, and some women definitely find the awkward, shy, quirky guy to be charming.
But it’s really hard for me in situations like going on a first date with a stranger from a dating app, or chatting up women in bars, because those situations are based on first impressions so much more, and there are a lot of expectations on how men are supposed to behave in those situations that I don’t really conform to.
I’m an autistic man and awkward as fuck, and there’s literally no context in which I’m able to approach a woman (outside of stores/restaurants of course, but that’s just business). I don’t have anyone approach me either of course, nor would I expect someone to, so unless I get extremely (as in stars align and the universe smiles upon me) lucky with a dating app, I have no actual method of meeting anyone, let alone going on a date.
In the case that I can, I find myself usually very silent and (apparently, idk what I look like but this is what I’ve been told) look incredibly uncomfortable and freaked out. Once things start working out I tend to do fine, I think I’m sometimes funny? But unless that happens then I’m completely and utterly fucked.
I dont think it’s a competition, it sucks regardless. As an awkward man you feel doomed to be alone because of your inability to approach or carry an initial conversation, as an awkward woman (judging off what I’ve read in this post) yall feel like you’re targeted. Everyone is going to think they have it worse. It’s not a competition, seems to be miserable for everyone
Men are expected to be a pillar of strength, someone you can rely on to push through. Women have leeway in every aspect of life. Prove me wrong
Woman already have the upper hand in the dating world when you factor in how much more men have to compete against each other for a much smaller amount of women on dating apps (which is where a huge majority of people meet these days). In real life though it’s probably more equal. So at a nightclub or bar on a busy Friday night there may be a more equal chance of a guy finding a girl but that guy has to have friends to go with and not every guy has friends to go with (it’s hard to make friends as an adult let alone guys that are willing to go out with you, which is why people turn to apps. Men are in general more lonely than woman because woman are naturally more socially inclined then men. Loner men also outnumber loner women by 10 fold which also explains the current dating app tragedy. Awkward girls can have literally any guy they want if they are pretty enough or even average looking. Very passable social skills will get you by. A good looking guy or even a very good looking guy is still rejected in favour of a more normal guy. Conventionally Pretty woman are essentially the most privileged group in the dating market
There should be a dating app for autistic adults.
Some people act like being socially awkward makes you a menace to society. Fuck them and their ivory tower.
Yeah I agree with your friend. I can see the appeal for awkward guys too, but girls definitely can “get away with it” a lot easier.
I’m female btw.
Being a socially awkward woman myself, it feels worse seeing as people expect you to be open for conversation or sweet and bubbly and loud.
I have to mask and force myself to appear “normal” by putting on this show of confidence. In reality I just stare blankly and would rather leave the conversation than join in. Because of that people just expect that I’m not nice just because I’m awkward?
I’d say man just because they men have to initiate most of the time, and being awkward makes that a lot harder.
People who think they’re awkward tend not to be.
Personally I find women who consider themselves awkward quite cute. They always say I’m terrible at conversation but I have female friends who consider themselves awkward but they are some of the most interesting people I know.