I (22F) didn’t date much in college so forgive me if this is a dumb question. I lost my virginity to a guy I met at a club when I was on vacation with my friends. He lives across the country, but happened to be visiting my area two weeks later and we hooked up in his hotel room.
From what my friends and I gathered while we were stalking his Instagram — he is a player! Fuckboy supreme. When I had sex with him, they all warned me it’s really hard to have your first time be a random hookup who probably won’t ever text you back. I was perfectly fine with it.
Sex with him was pretty fun (he ate me out until I was shaking lol) but I didn’t have feelings for him at all (don’t think our personalities meshed well tbh, but our physical chemistry was great), just was physically attracted to him.
He seemed pretty disappointed when I told him all I wanted was sex (he wanted to take me out to eat but I already ate that night). Afterwards, he kept telling me how he wanted to visit a few weeks later and wanted to go to a festival with me. I was a little disappointed he didn’t text back right away to check in on me after we had sex, but he texted me a week before he was supposed to come a copy of his STD results lol but I didn’t have time to respond back.
He’s texted me more in the last few months, even when I don’t respond. He’s sent me songs that reminded him of our conversation and even asked if I was going to Coachella and if we could go together and maybe go on a date then.
He told me he was seeing a girl pretty regularly, but they’re not officially dating — so he has options, I don’t get why he keeps messaging me? My friend said maybe my coochie put him under a spell. I don’t think the sex was that spectacular so I’m not sure why? Idk.
18 comments
It’s fairly simple, he likes you. But if he doesn’t live near you it’s not like a real relationship can come of it so I’d stick to being distant if I were you. Plus you don’t want a relationship with a player, believe me.
Quoting from SATC: “for the same reason dogs lick their balls: because they can”. Don’t read too much into it.
All he wants is probably just external validation.
The fact you told him you only want sex makes him “want to change your mind” so you’d ask for more… Then he’d not be that interested…
As long as you have fun and not get emotionally involved, do as you want with him.. (and make sure you’re save, use protection, etc… STD tests can be faked)
If he really is a player, it could be just because you said no and he’s not used to women saying no to him
He likes you that’s why.
He might like you as a friend. He might like you as a potential romantic partner. And he might just like you because the sex was fun and he’d like to repeat.
But he likes you and that’s why he’s trying to keep in contact.
If you don’t want to talk to him again, then tell him and then block him.
Maybe he’s looking for a change? A relationship
You and your friends made a judgment about someone and it could be incorrect. It could be as simple as the guy likes you and wants a relationship.
Honestly, I wouldn’t read too much into it. You said that all you wanted was sex and that probably shocked him because he wasn’t used to it. Sounds like he just tries to get you. However, if you have great sex with each other and you know and make that clear to him that sex is all you wanted, then why not hanging out with him again lol?
Just make sure you’re protected and being safe though
Ask him
The most obvious answer is that he likes you as a person and is being friendly and keeping in touch.
I was a player until I really liked someone— don’t put faith in assumptions others hold about this guy. They don’t know him on a deep level. He could really like you and respect you. He even wanted to do things “right” by actually taking you on a proper date. I really think people are off base in saying that he’s only reacting to you being uninterested in chasing him.
He could absolutely like you in a genuine way, and you’re being encouraged to treat him the way that others perceive him treating women (without knowing the full truth, all speculation). If that makes him look bad, why would that be the right thing to do?
Of course, you aren’t required to respond, but if you aren’t responding based off of what others (who don’t really know him) are saying— then you might be missing out on a real connection. They could very well be completely wrong.
Y’know, I was a fuckboy in my 20’s but I was also looking for monogamous love at the same time. It’s just that while I was trying to find “the one” I was also trying to bang everything that moved.
So, my point is, it’s possible this guy actually likes you.
I would just ask him why he keeps messaging you. See what he says
Maybe you were good and maybe he wants something casual or maybe a date?….
I would say move on find you that special someone you can have both physical and emotional bond with if he’s not the one for you let him know you rather not take this relationship any further
Idk I don’t want to burst your bubble but. Some guys, especially if they are the fuck boy type with options, like to text multiple girls/talk to multiple girls as an ego thing. In my experience, some guys want YOU to like THEM, have no intention of dating you or reciprocating the feelings. Why? Because then they can control the relationship and feel better about themselves. Sorry to be a downer. It just seems like if he lives far away, what’s the point of going a date when he’s in town or texting?
Congrats you turned a fuckboy to a good boy
Yes. He wants more hookups and maybe even a relationship.