Engaged and supposed to get married at the end of the year, but our almost non existent sex life makes me reconsider

8 comments

1. Have you spoken with him about it? Personally, I wouldn’t be okay to be in a sexless relationship. Don’t feel guilty, if sex matters to you then you need to ask for it. Usually it’s the other way around, the man not getting enough sex, so maybe there’s something underlying.

2. Please please PLEASE do yourself a favor and really reflect on this. You definitely should be be concerned if your sexually incompatible. Nothing to feel guilty about. I had a friend who wasn’t engaged but was with her bf for 7 years and they had no sexual compatibility. She finally broke up with him because she said she knew if they’d gotten married, she’d most likely cheat bc of it.

3. People are what they are and you can believe in their words to be better and in the best of them, but it seldom changes especially when it comes to issues like this. It’s not a ridiculous thing to end a relationship over, there are people out there who match your libido, do not get into a marriage where sex is a problem because it will only be amplified as time goes and your frustration grows and you WILL grow to resent them and hate your life

4. Have a look at r/HLCommunity for a glimpse at your married future

5. Don’t marry into a dead bedroom. It doesn’t get better if you don’t address it.

6. Personally I haven’t read about you doing an effort to communicate the problem and before taking this decision talk to him, but a real sit down conversation with everything that you had feel all this time. If he is willing to cooperate good (the effort needs to be during a big period of time). If he doesn’t want to change or only give excuses don’t be afraid to take the step and broke off the engagement because your happiness needs to be your priority (that’s why you get married, to be happy with the person besides you) not what people thinks.

7. In many ways, working out if you are compatible is a big chunk of what the modern engagement is about.

   Sex is one thing, above all else, that you’ll commit to only get from him “til death so us part” as the vows say. If you aren’t compatible now, no action on your part is going to fix that, he has to accept it is a problem, and want to fix it.

8. It’s not going to change. Don’t get married unless you want this for the rest of your life.