Hi. I want to be more outgoing and social, and have better, interesting conversations. I don’t have communication problems. I talk a lot with my close friends, but with people I’m not close with or people I recently got to know, I don’t have much to say, maybe that’s because I’m more of a listener. It takes me some time to get comfortable with new people. I want to be able to have better conversations with people I don’t know well, or I’m not close with. I can talk well if we have some common interests or omething common in our lifestyles, but otherwise I don’t know what to say. I do listen carefully to what people say and ask questions if I find anything necessary or if I feel I can give some input.
For eg: there was this guy I met, we instantly clicked, but the only common interest we had was reading books and . He came from a different place, different academic backgrounds, different tastes in web series, different hobbies, etc. He’s very talkative, always had something to share whenever, wherever we went.
I’m more of a listener, I don’t have an interesting life and didn’t have much to talk about since we had very less in common. My college is almost finished, I’ll move out for job, I don’t go out much because of my strict parents, so im lacking in social life. There was no issue in flirting 😂 but I found it a bit difficult to find topics to talk about.
After this interaction i realised I need to improve my ability to have more interesting conversations with people and become more social & outgoing. How do I do that?
1 comment
You listen so your already halfway there. Learn to ask questions that keep the conversation going. “Why is it done that way”, “how long have you been doing this hobby” stuff like that. Ask questions and add commentary that shows off your personality and sense of humor. This step is very important to make people feel they are having a conversation and not in a formal interview. Most people love to talk about themselves and welcome anyone who seems interested. As you get better at active listening and asking questions your ability to connect with people will improve.
I am a listener too and have had alot of trouble connecting with people. However, once I learned to use active listening to judge character (that takes is life experience) the friends I have are genuine, interesting, sweet, and talkative people. Those are the people you can learn from and will be there for you.