Hi all,
Foreplay with my gf is pretty much solely focussed on her. I know what she likes and I love pleasing her any way I can. Still, it feels one-sided at times. I decided to communicate this and she is open to improvement but doesn’t really know how. My gf is a bit passive and not the most sexually driven person so things like this don’t come naturally to her.
Honestly I’m having trouble coming up with ideas myself. I am pretty creative when it comes to thinking of new things but they are usually focussed on her. Most foreplay that I know off is mainly for the womans benefit. I cum pretty quickly so bjs and handjobs can only be done so much before it hinders PIV. She isn’t comfortable with dirty talk, setting a sexy mood or things like that so it is hard to give an extra sexual dimension to me on that front. I enjoy the occasional massage but that is not something to do everytime.
What do you people do? Any tips/suggestions?
7 comments
More hugs, kisses and small changes to the environment (like tidiness, lighting, scents, sounds etc) can make you more relaxed and ready to start-off better, beforehand (all of which could be done pretty easily)! If not any of those then maybe a fleshlight that’s a little loose, so it doesn’t stimulate too intensely before PiV?
A few weeks ago my SO and I did a night of sensual, erotic massage. Do something relaxing, then get in bed with a blindfold and some massage oil. The point is to play and explore and break your usual sexual routine. You could even take sex explicitly off the table just to make sure you don’t slip into your usual habits. In the process you might find some new spots on eachother that feel good, and these will be good to use during foreplay.
Have her take your clothes off. Is more fun if it’s no hands.
Why does foreplay need to be focused on you when PIV is already mostly for your pleasure?
Anyway, she can kiss all over your body, stroke you, give you hickeys. I could spend hours doing that.
I’m a pleaser in bed, and I spend way more time on my partners than they do on me. But it’s things like touching, oral, making out, sitting on his face, 69, and rimming.
If you cum quickly from oral and you are one and done, and not even up for finishing her once you cum, then maybe she can edge you with oral? Tease you, pull back whenever you are close. Just lick and kiss you and not do as much full on sucking? She can still stroke you without bringing you to completion by constantly moving to other areas of your body before you cum.
Honestly I feel like the thing that’s turns men on the most is enthusiasm for their body. Excitement when she looks at him like he is dessert. Feeling like it’s a gift to be able to touch him at all. The energy is more important than the acts or the skill IMO.
Foot jobs are pretty awesome if you are into feet.
My (65m) wife (67f) gently strokes my cock and asshole while I’m doing whatever I’m doing to her. It’s wonderful for both of us.
If your gf is just lying there, why not use her hands? It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, just identify your erogenous zones and ask her to touch them while you’re touching hers.