So Ive (F23) had a guy (M21) in my life (we’re just friends) and he developed feelings for me pretty quick. I’d say a week into us talking and told me right away as he didn’t want to miss out. I on the other hand prefered to take it slowly and see if we’re emotionally or physically compatible first. Also im very put off by love bombing pretty early on in the relationship. He respected it and has kept his feelings on the low since. He’s always willing to make changes to accomodate me.
So we did try our friendship out and in the process became pretty attached to the point i’d get jealous if he brought up another girl but i didnt feel anything romantic for him still. Throughout the entirety of our friendship, i felt so suffocated by the constant pressure of his feelings for me that i couldnt even enjoy our friendship. He hasnt even brought them up since but I do know he has expectations from me in the background. I kept telling him time and time again that we’re just friends, in hopes it would ease my guilt of treating him “unfairly”. By unfairly i mean not treating him as anything exclusive. We’ve had this conversation and hes been okay with it (though rightfully a bit annoyed) but still keeps some hope for the future in his heart.
So we had a comprehensive talk about it Again. Hearts were broken and i convinced him to leave cause i was so scared/guilty of treating him unfairly and not fitting into the role he wanted and that he should invest his feelings elsewhere.
Until… the break became too much and we texted eachother again. Realized it was worse to be without eachother. Now the problem is, hes back in my life, we’re just friends but the guilt is too much to bear. I cant let him go and cant keep him here. I dont know what to make of this situation.
How do i go about the situation? Ive tried to think but i cant get any leads so far.
Any help would be appreciated! I turned to reddit cause i desperately need help, i have an important exam tomorrow and i cant think of anything but this! I’m taking responsibility for a full human being here!
Thanks!
TL;DR: guy confessed pretty early on, I dont have romantic feelings but still get jealous, convinced him to end it cause situation is unfair for him but realized we’re eachothers bestfriends so we bounced back
1 comment
Just do what feels right to you. If you enjoy each other’s company then why not? As long as you communicate the fact that you’re only interested in being friends with him with no strings attached and he agrees to it then you have a wonderful friend to spend your time with, whether or not more feelings are lingering about shouldn’t get in the way of this wonderful bond you’re sharing.