This guy [34m] I’m seeing [30f] slept together for the first time last night. We were making out and it was getting hot and heavy, clothes were coming off and suddenly I’m naked. He asks me what I want in bed, and I just didn’t know how to answer because no one has ever asked me that before! I just said “whatever you want to do to me”. I’m no good at taking control or telling the guy what to do, I guess. It makes me rather uncomfortable for some reason. He kind of ignored my answer and asked again, so I got really anxious for some reason because I couldn’t answer it and just gave him a blowjob instead. Then we had sex and he kept asking me what position I liked and for some reason that turned me off? Like I wanted him to just fuck me in any position but I just went into pronebone anyway.
I guess I’m just used to a guy having his way with me, so when I’m asked what I like my brain short circuits.
The obvious answer to this question is “just tell him what you like duh” but the truth is I don’t know how. It makes me feel like I’m being the dominant one and I get uncomfortable at the thought of a guy doing things to me only because I want him to and not because he is doing it freely on his own.
I know he will ask again so I don’t know how to answer in a way that doesn’t turn me off. It feels like a mental hurdle I have to get past but can’t.
4 comments
Just be honest and say I’m not really sure what I like best, but I’m open to doing whatever you want to do.
Or you could say “I’d love to feel your tongue on my clit” or “I bet your fingers would feel nice inside of me” etc etc.
Maybe talk about it NOT during sex.
You might have a better chance of being clear headed. If that doesn’t work tell him what you definitely don’t like, then say anything else is fine. He’s trying to be a considerate lover who wants your enthusiastic consent and participation… don’t ignore that.
Well I guess are there things you enjoy more than others in sex? Like, is doggie more fun or enjoyable than cowgirl or do you not care.
From reading your post it seems like you just don’t want to make a decision more so than are actually submissive. IE you don’t want him to be responsible for his bad time more so than wanting to please him.
He’s asking, so he’s participating freely… ♥️