I am an introvert person and talking too much literally drains the shit out of me. I like quite moments like watching people pass by or just listening my surroundings. I was hangingout with my friend that i reconnected a year ago and he is bit extroverted. He said he doesn’t like it when coversation got quite and he finds it kinda akward. What he said made me self conscious and now i try to talk more but in the end i find myself so drained and tired. What is your suggestions about this
6 comments
Hey, please don’t feel like you have to change yourself because your friend told you this.
Your friend being uncomfortable with silence is his problem, not yours. Maybe communicate to your friend that silent moments are okay and normal in a conversation.
Communicate with your friend and let them know how you feel. Remember that everyone has different communication styles and it’s okay for you to be an introverted person who enjoys quiet moments. Try to find a balance between talking and having quiet moments by suggesting activities that involve both conversation and quiet, such as going for a walk or watching a movie together.
Remember that you are not responsible for making your friend always feel comfortable and entertained! It’s okay for there to be moments of silence or for the conversation to lull. Suggest that you and your friend set boundaries around communication and let each other know when you need some quiet time.
Take care of yourself and do not feel pressured to change who you are in order to make others comfortable. If you find that spending time with your friend is causing you too much stress and draining you, it’s okay to take a step back and prioritize your own well-being.
I think you should be clear with him that if he’s uncomfortable with silence, it’s up to him to fill it.
Your friend is missing an opportunity to learn from you that silence is only awkward if he wants it to be. Unfortunately some people mistakenly assume that extroversion is the default, so they discount the valuable social insight that you have.
One way I learned this was from a friend who straight-up asked for silence from time to time. “I’d like to be quiet for a while,” tells me that silence is okay.
Why do you care?, its his thing and if he hate you for that its his problem
Your friend is expressing his wants/needs, and that’s okay. It’s not your job to fulfill those needs, but here’s a way you can help your friend get his needs met without having to change who you are fundamentally:
Try to bring other people along when you hang out with this guy. That way when you’re not feeling talkative he can chat with someone else.
Of course, this all assumes your friend was being honest and direct with you about what he wants. If he actually wants something specific from you, then this won’t work at all and you two need to have a conversation about boundaries.