No intimacy advice
My husband has lost his libido, and no matter what I do he can’t get aroused let alone hard long enough for sex.
He is seeing his GP about it, but it’s been over a year now of being rejected and I’m missing the physical touch and desire.
Using a rampant rabbit isn’t cutting it anymore and it’s getting me down.
I do feel for more husband as it is causing him to be extremely depressed and less of a man. He has even said that if it carries on and he can’t fix it then he will understand if I leave him for another man.
What do I do? I don’t want to leave him as I love him dearly but I’m at a loss!
11 comments
Maybe get him on those testosterone supplements? (Honestly I don’t even know if they even work)
Curious…when his libido took a nosedive were there any major events or life changes that coincided with it?
Have u tried Viagra/Cialis?
Should have seen his GP a whole lot sooner.
Do that like yesterday. Get his T levels checked.
I’m sorry,, but even though he cant it’s unfair for you, he can do a lot of things lack of intimacy is not right… same goes for women, even though they go into menopause,, understandably lot of women deal with dryness intimacy in a relationship is a must.
Maybe talk about a threesome. He might be ok with watching and seeing if that helps. And if it does then great he can join. But that’s an important talk. And he should be fine with making you happy. If there is still all the love. But I know from my past experiences and knowledge, if actually might help. And if your serious about needing it then I can help. I’m white 46 and have a 7in er. So it’s very important to talk first. And if you decide to bring in another man then make sure your both comfortable with the person. Good luck and let me know if I can help
If this started occurring when you got a larger mortgage like you mentioned in your comments, it’s likely related to stress. (Sometimes stress can also cause low testosterone.) Stress tells your body that it’s not a safe time to reproduce, and many people lose their sex drives. Is there anything else related to the mortgage? A super tight budget, salary concerns, major debts, etc.?
There could be so many causes – a lot of the replies have touched on them.
What’s his metabolic profile look like, does he have uncontrolled hypertension?
Is he on an antidepressant, currently, as this is a common side effect for men.
Testosterone, free T, getting levels monitored.
Does he masturbate, or does he masturbate too much when you’re not around? Doing this too often or getting used to his own touch can be a cause.
My advice – have the GP make a decision on the testosterone & if that doesn’t do anything worthwhile, go straight to a Urologist so you can get this taken care of!
Stress is a killer. Since it sounds like you know what’s causing the stress. Change that. Sell the house and move to something smaller. Stress is reducing his qualify of life (and yours) and is shortening his life as well. It’s not worth doing anything that creates chronic stress.
Bring another woman into the mix and have a FFM threesome. If you don’t want him touching another woman, just make it clear that’s not an option but he can watch you and her together. He’ll come back to life, I bet.
He probably has low T. He needs to find a hormone clinic and do bloodwork.