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People keep trying to wipe me.
Aint no realize, just have always known.
Any time I drop something and then catch it in midair before it hits the ground.
Like Kid Rock said: “I know it stinks in here, cuz I’m the shit!”
When people started asking about shit cus i’m ahead in most things i pursue
Yeah I always knew it deep down
But girls reaction to seeing my cock helps too
I woke up, saw myself in the mirror, and thought “you’re him”
Being all up in these bìtches mouths. Some with husbands 😂
When my team would light up as I entered the room and got really sad when I left after my promotion. Love ‘em all!
People came up to me and “you are shit”
…wait
Fully recovering from a “serious” traumatic brain injury
That one time in college when I morphed into Ken Griffey Jr. in a combined fraternity-sorority softball game. My hitting sucks, but for whatever reason the gods decided to favor me that day. Hit a fast pitch clean, for a center field home run. The rest of the game everyone moved back whenever I was at the plate. Felt nice to be a boss for a few hours.
almost 30 and never had a girlfriend
Every time I look in the mirror at the gym and the women behind me are checking me out.