I was thinking back to a conversation I had with my (24M) now ex (23F) a couple of months ago before she had to move away to another country to pursue her master’s. We had been dating for 1.5 years. Whenever we spoke before, we decided on doing LDR. 2 months before she was leaving, she asked me if I wanted to do LDR. I said yes – I wanted to try it for 3 months. Since it’ll be both of our first LDR, I wanted to try it for three months and we can evaluate it at the end of 3 months to see if we both are happy and if it’s working for us. This made the most rational sense to me since it will be new for both of us. She said okay and we never spoke of LDR again. 2 weeks before she left, she decided to break up with me. I’ve been wondering if my response gave the impression that I wasn’t invested or committed to the relationship.
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TLDR: Does my suggestion of trying LDR for 3 months come across as me being uncommitted?
5 comments
Yes. She probably figured it made more sense to end things now rather than finding out you wanted a 90 day review with an option to discontinue.
You said you were willing to try. Long distance is really hard and you were acknowledging that. I don’t think you sound non committal. If she broke up with you, it isn’t because of your response.
I personally don’t think so. The important thing here is that you didn’t say no. You said you were giving it a legit chance.
The only thing that I don’t like in there is the three month thing. If you want to think that internally you can but I would recommend not saying that out loud next time. Everything else is fine. Honestly I’d just say something like “I’m willing to give it a try and see what happens from there”
Idk maybe it’s just me but to me that just comes off as how you test drive a car before you commit to buying it and that just throws me off and I personally just don’t like it.
Plus if you go through with it the timeline could be wonky. If after one month you really don’t like it you wanna do it for two more? And idk maybe you’re still unsure at 3 months but still willing to try. So just scrap the whole “we’ll see in 3 months” and go for “I’ll try it and we’ll see how it goes”
Lol, no. She is uncommitted for breaking up with you. Don’t let it get to your head, she didn’t want you. You will find someone better.
Maybe she’s the one who reconsidered, it doesn’t have to be all on you.
Not everyone can do LDRs, especially not for several years.