I’ve been in love with my best friend for the past 3 years. But she is in a relationship. I need advice.

So idk much about the whole love thing, I’m a guy who never goes out dating and has never really loved anyone else in a relationship. BUT, I met this girl 3 years ago and we almost instantly became best friends we are very similar in a lot of ways and sometimes it freaks us out. I know I’ve been in love with her since damn near the very beginning, but she was in a relationship the whole time.

I would never do anything to undermine her happiness for the record. I have kept it a secret the whole time. From my understanding he’s a good guy. I’ve almost met him a couple times but just found some sly excuse not to. There was a brief point when they broke up for a couple months this past year where I almost built up the nerve to tell her but I wanted to let her heal first. We were hanging out more and it seemed like a romantic relationship could bloom but she and her ex ended up tryin again.

I had never felt so down in my life. Naturally we aren’t hanging out as often anymore. But over the past 3 months I still think about her every day often throughout the day even tho we don’t talk as often anymore and she moved across the state temporarily. I thought distance would help but no.

It’s unhealthy for me to be honest I want to be in a loving relationship with someone but I just don’t find anyone as attractive and just don’t care to try with anyone else. She asks me why I don’t date often and I just tell her I have high standards. If I tell her I could ruin our friendship and I value that more than my feelings.

It felt good putting this in words to be honest. I’m a guy that never cry’s and barley cares about anything but I balled my eyes out the whole typing this. Even after 3 years of thinking about it.

Any advice?