My current gf and I had been together for more than a year. When we started dating, she said that her last relationship ended 2-3 months ago. However, in the first months we’re seeing each other she would always mention her ex, and was still hurt and angry. I had the impression that she’s still not over her ex. Or haven’t healed from their breakup yet.
I wanted to make sure and take things slowly, so around the 3rd or 4th week of dating I’ve asked her if she still have feelings for her ex but she said no. She also said they have no contact anymore. But there was this instance that I accidentally caught her chatting with her ex while I’m watching TikTok on her phone. She explained that it was just about some important documents her ex left. She said they talk but only casually.
Months gone by and we became officially a couple but she still mentions her ex from time to time and often compares me to her. Then one time, she said her ex started bugging her again for some reason so she stopped talking and blocked her. I had no issues with her past relationship since then.
Although recently, I discovered from a chat conversation from her old friend that popped up, a confirmation that I was indeed — just a rebound. A distraction, a company, someone to use to try make her ex jealous.
From their conversation and by checking the dates, I figured out that she outright lied to me. We were going 2 months into dating and she’s outright still trying to contact her ex and asking the said friend about her ex’s whereabouts.
She mentioned how she missed her and still loves her so much that she feel like a fool hoping that they’ll be back together again.
There’s also messages about her seeing me, saying that I’m just someone to talk to. And she said that she’s gonna post my picture with the intention to make the impression to her ex that she also have someone new.
There were dates on some of the messages that I’ve confirmed that we were together at the time. I was literally next to her and she’s chatting her friend how she misses her ex so much.
Idk how to feel. We’ve been together for a while now, and I’m wondering if this is irrelevant to bring up now. But I also don’t want to just bury it cos it’s eating me alive.
I’ve since then started questioning what’s real in our relationship. If its ever been real. The messages show how intense she loved her ex.
She treats me good but I’m feeling like she’s never gonna love me the same way.
I’m sorry if this is messy I’m really having a hard time processing all of this. Any advice? I’m not sure how to approach this situation. Thank you in advance!
1 comment
She had only been broken up for two three months. You honestly should have expected her not to have totally been over her ex and why would she say outright she’s not over them?
Look, you may have started as a rebound but I think the fact she’s now blocked her ex proves you’re not one now. Yes, those messages are shitty but you can also miss someone without missing missing them. Those messages were sent with the intent you never read them and the fact you’ve went far so back on her messages proves you were snooping but found nothing from recently. You went back purposely knowing she was just out of a fresh relationship when yous got together and you wanted a reason to be mad at her.
Stop purposely trying to hurt yourself and use things like this to justify getting into an argument. You’re literally going to end a relationship on the basis of something YOU already knew, and if you didn’t you’re extremely naive.