I’m 23f and something I lack is boundaries (sorta of speak) I’m very use to meeting someone offline and verbally agreeing we’re going to be friends and go from there. As I start to get out more ,people have be chatting me here and there. My life is pretty dull, so it be hard to know if I’m talking to much bout myself or not talking enough. Through text I’ve been told I’m dry. Thru phone call I’ve been told I’m decent to talk to but I’m just a regular person going through the normal motions of life. N it true nothing really excites me like tht, I became pretty nonchalant bout a lot of things, which brings me back to the question of how to know your being to open, how do you set conversational boundaries.
For example: my roommates been trying to get to know me for maybe 2 weeks now, the other day I overheard talking to her boyfriend ,frustrated ,saying she trying to talk to me but I keep running to my room after the first initial hi.
I heard this and found it funny that this girl was interested in talking to me when there 4 other girls in my house (side note:she lived in this house longer then me and I’ve been here for a year now). So the other day she was a little bit more aggressive in her appoarch and said so what you getting into tonight ? And I said nothing really just chilling and she goes okay here ,I over made some Buffalo chicken quesadilla I want you to have the rest and smiled. And walked away.
For me personal I wouldn’t mind to pursue more of a friendship role but idk how to make it natural. Do I sit in the kitchen while she cooking and talk to her . Do I tell her bout my life events. Do I ask her if she wanna hang out? It nerve racking for me cuz I don’t be going out, I dont have a funny bone in my body. And I have a habit of making everything into a therapy session. I guess what I’m saying is I’m not perfect and I don’t want my theory to be proven to me tht im not the person she thinks I am in her head. Plus she my roommate ,so I also don’t want her to much in my business like ,what the perfect balance??