I feel like I can quickly make surface level friendships with some people, but I just can’t seem to get any closer. People don’t reach out and don’t invite me places. I know that means they don’t like me but I don’t know why.
People will say you’re so nice or you’re so sweet but they never want to make a close bond.
I also feel in some groups I try and get in on jokes but it’s never funny when I do it, I just feel like I’m missing something.
What makes someone like able, more than being funny and nice?
5 comments
Hello !
First you should aknowledge you have some qualities, not everyone is able to easily make connections, to seem nice or sweet. It’s a solid fondation to build upon ! And the rest would be harder if it was not the case. 🙂
Second, if people don’t invite you that don’t mean they don’t like you, there is other explanations. Like they don’t think you would like it, don’t think about it, or dont want to expand their group…
The most important thing is to stop waiting for invitation to come in, and make invitations yourself. You can do it. Begin with small things and few people and expand slowly. You will get what interest each person. Some folks don’t have time or the envy to make new friends and that’s ok. There is other people to invite.
But don’t try to rush things, it takes time to trust someone and vice versa. For some people it takes even longer. In the meantime, be the best friend you can be. If folks are not appreciative of that, meet new people.
Good luck on your journey my friend
I have the similiar question with you.More harder I have a problem in loving a girl who don’t want to talk to me,I hope you can find out your answer to your question.
I struggle with the same things, partly due to deficiencies on my end, but the outcome becomes the same.
One of the things that I have learned is that sometimes people don’t find you interesting. Not because you aren’t an interesting person, but because people can have different ideas of what constitutes a “deep” friendship/relationship. I thought I and my friends from when I was a teenager had deeper than surface relationships, but even those ended because their idea of deep and meaningful just didn’t align with what I felt was deep and meaningful.
Do you feel like you have a deep relationship with yourself? You do enjoy being in your own presence? How would you describe yourself if others only define you as “nice” or “sweet”? I have no doubt that you are so much more than that, so embrace it. Self-confidence can be very powerful, being content with who you are as a person is not only so much more important than forcing those relationships with people, but you’ll also attract people who do want to have that relationship with you. You deserve that kind of relationship with people regardless, but that need for that kind of relationship can begin to fade when you truly become deep friends with yourself.
I struggle with the same thing, I get along fine with everyone and we can have hilarious convos that end in crying laughter. But at the end of the day they are only interested in become acquaintances, or at most just regular friends. Nobody wants to be good/close friends, (yes I know that takes time). They don’t invite me into their friend group either.
Hey don’t worry too much, I believe nearly everyone struggles to build new friendships as an adult. Send me a message if you want to chat 🙂