him and i have been texting for a few months now, everyday. i’ve always made it clear that we are just friends, and won’t go any further. for some background we hung out one time and have more plans to hang out in the future we are even going to a concert together. i was told through one of his friends that he has a crush on me today, how should i approach this?
should i not text him as much anymore? while this would make me so sad, i’m not sure what else to do. id hate to cut him off completely as he is part of my daily life. can it really be possible to be friends with a guy platonically? and on his end, would it be wrong for me to pursue this friendship the same we’ve always been knowing he has a crush on me?
9 comments
No if you don’t like him like that cut him off. It’s not fair to him, and it’ll just turn into manipulation from you. He was texting daily in the hopes to date you is what it sounds like and yes a relationship can be platonic but only if u BOTH (key word) have no interest in each other sexually. Other than that you’ll just be leading him on. We don’t choose who we like and it’s an unfortunate part of life.
You heard through one of his friends, not even from him, and you’re gonna listen to this complete stranger telling you to cut him off? Why not just continue being his friend like you’ve always been and if he makes a move, let him down gently. There doesn’t have to be ANY DRAMA
By “made it clear” do you mean you’ve talked with him and specifically told him you don’t see him as more than a friend and that isn’t going to change? If not it might not actually be clear to him
Does he compliment and send you good morning/night texts?
Why cut him off? I don’t understand
No need to cut him off imo, people can’t help the way they feel. If your friendship is good otherwise this can just be a blip in the road that passes. Also dependent on if he’s able to get over the crush and just be friends, without making it weird lol
who pays for the concert tickets just curious
What I do when I want to make it clear that I don’t want a partnership, but genuinely want to be friends, is that I openly talk about their and my dating life, and how we can support each other find a partner. That’s – next to a “I’m not interested in you romantically” – THE most direct way you can show that you just want to be friends, while at the same time boosting their ego because you actually genuinely want them to find a nice partner (that isn’t you).
Make dating life a conversation between you two. That way, you can simultaneously be supportive to each other, and at the same time be clear about boundaries.
For instance, ask him what kind of girls he likes, and how he could find them, if he wants you to help to find someone…
If he makes a hint that he’s into you, like stares into your eyes and says “I think I already know the kind of girl that I like… are you free this evening?” then you kindly let him down and say “look, I’m not into you that way… will being friends work for you?” or similar.
I am a woman, but I got a huge crush on a close male college friend years ago. He was tipped off by his cousin, who was hanging out with us, and told him she could tell I was crushing on him. How he dealt with it was a little clunky and awkward – we went out to eat one evening, and he asked me how I felt about him. I confessed my feelings, and he said “Oh, okay, well I don’t like you like that, I only like you as a friend.” We ended up remaining friends though. Maybe you could try something like that before cutting him off?