Throwaway here, because that’s what keeps Reddit free. So, I’ve been single for a spell now and just started chatting and dating this amazing woman. We’ve flirted over text and shared somethings that are quite intimate and something she dropped was that one of her least favorite things about her previous relationship was that her ex would absolutely not, under penalty of death, go down on her, despite her routinely going down on him. (There were other larger, more serious issues with the relationship, that was just something that she disliked about it.) I assured her that was NOT a problem, that I genuinely LOVE oral sex, from both an administration and receiving position. Here’s my problem and major concern…..
When I am going down on a woman, if she’s into it at all, moaning, squirming, talking ANYTHING like that, I have a real hard time (read: damn near impossible) not coming. I don’t know what it is other than I’m just really, really enjoying what is happening, or, hell, I don’t know. The reason I’m concerned is because in my most recent relationship, I was routinely told that this is a problem. (Okay, in fairness, she never said it was a problem, she used words and phrases more along the lines of, “Potential medical issue” or “Have you considered talking to somebody?” and, “Well, maybe not abnormal, but certainly not normal.” These were not said in a joking fashion.) The entire relationship was pretty toxic and I’m hoping this was just another aspect or part of that toxicity and not an accurate representation of how women feel about this…..And, if it IS an issue, is this something I should bring up ahead of time or just let it play out….? I’m having the nervous tummy about this and not the good kind of nervous tummy……
7 comments
Man if she really fw you she not gon trip that u came. ik my partner likes to be sexed after i eat her out, if you talk to her about it she will not be surprised, therefore damage control.
I do think it’s something to give her a heads up on. For many, oral is usually part of foreplay, so she should know that you can’t have sex afterwards. That doesn’t mean it’s something to avoid. I honestly think it would be a turn on for me in some ways
Definitely think letting her know in advance would be the way to go.
I get the impression you’re the kind of guy who cares about your partner’s pleasure. So assuming you have a “normal” refractory time and that PIV might be expected (?) might also make sure you let her know you how much you enjoy extended foreplay (until you recovery).
Not saying PIV is required or necessary, just that it might be expected, so letting her know you intend to keep it “interesting” until it can happen, would be appreciated (at least by me).
Jesus your ex sounds like a piece of work. (And you recognize this)
You are completely normal. Climaxing from a sex act is completely normal.
My current spouse can climax this way, and I love it when he does. It’s a huge ego boost for me, and it makes me happy when he’s sexually satisfied.
I’d give her a heads-up, as others have recommended, with emphasis that you have a short refractory period and that it will absolutely not be the end of the session. There are a depressingly large number of men who cum, and then that’s it, show’s over. So letting her know that you are not like that will be very reassuring.
Meanwhile, holy smokes, I can’t think of anything sexier than my enjoyment sending a partner over the edge into their own orgasm. Ex was a total idiot!
I mean, don’t get me wrong here, there is the possibility that there is an issue and cumming that easy would be unusual (first time I’ve ever heard of it) but… reverse the roles for a second – If your partner was able to cum just from seeing and giving you pleasure it would be super hot.
Guys usually last longer when they go a 2nd round, so you’re unlikely to get complaints there either.
It is worth letting her know that it might happen and that you might need a little break after. I don’t think she will have any problem with it at all.
Sometimes guys just get excited pleasuring you or being in close contact with a girl like that. Husband’s ejaculated when he pleasures me orally. It seems to happen on my period more than any other time, but even then, it doesn’t happen every time.
If you think it’s going to be a problem, tell her. My husband (then BF) told me he almost ejaculated the second time that he gave me oral on my period. I told him next time (that morning) just let himself go. He went down on me and did ejaculate. It was HOT!