Hey All,
31M, I’ve been on all the major dating apps and haven’t really had much success mostly because I find most of the people on there unattractive. Not as in ugly, just laking substance that would make me want to message or swipe on their profile. To me, it seems like an unending repeating pattern of the same profiles just a different person. “Make me laugh, I love to travel, an affinity for brunch, my dog has to love you.” Doesn’t seem like people have hobbies or do anything interesting outside of traveling or drinking themselves silly. I’m all for having a good time, but there is life outside the bar and downtown scene. I’ve also found that most people who say they like intelligent conversation really can’t have one and are as dry as the Sahara often replying with “Yeah” when you try to engage in conversation. Maybe I’m just burned out, but has anyone else felt this way about people on dating sites? Are people really this boring?
5 comments
They are real people they just don’t appear that way until you’re in person. You need to stop expecting the profile and app conversation to wow you, just go on dates and decide on the date.
I have felt what you’re describing. I think it’s just burnout. I’m taking a break from apps at the moment but I definitely found myself becoming resentful about how similar most profiles are. The same old tropes being recycled, everyone seems so basic.
But as u/wiwoo pointed out, they are real people, and a dating app profile can’t convey the full depth of a human being. You have to stay open minded and actually meet people irl and put the effort into getting to know them. I realised I couldn’t do that anymore so that’s why I’m off the apps for now. When you start mentally putting everyone into simplistic boxes, I think it’s a good sign to take a break.
Yes. It’s why I got off of dating sites completely. I disagree with other comments saying that these traits can dissipate when you meet in person. What people choose to say about themselves on a dating profile is very telling. People who I’ve had stimulating conversations with tended to have richer, more thoughtful, and more humorous bios. Rare, though.
You have to rummage through the trash to find the treasure. At least you can tell the difference instead of fretting about why you aren’t like them.
Dating apps are difficult to make work, but also, there’s just a lack of effort put into profiles especially when it comes to creating a bio, some might just not want to give too much away. Better to go out and meet people.