Hello! Sorry to bother you guys and girls. Ive been a shut-in recluse for many years but i want to try something new ( socializing and making friends ). I quit PMO, junk food, videogames, started to workout. The title of the post might be a bit misleading. I do not consider myself a boring person. Im into pessimistic philosophy, metaphysics, psychology, human nature, human condition, cosmos, language learning (i know two foreign languages – english and japanese, even if not on native’s level). I like art house movies, drawing, reading ( mostly non fiction ) and more. But the problem is as i see it is that most people dont really like deep conversations and i totally understand it. Who would want to talk about nihilism and pissimistic version of it at that or nature of existence when we mee for the first time. Im not into smalk talk but i guess i have to learn it. Im also not into mainstream media, internet drama, celebrities, materialism, etc. So im asking you good people what (casual) topics i should learn so i could be an interesting interlocutor during casual conversation. Im also would be interested in books about interpesonal skills, “art” of small talk, etc. Thank you.
1 comment
I think you know the solution, you just don’t really like it. You see small talk as a waste of time, but actually it is the price of admission to get into the real-talk club. You got to accept that price.
As far as what topics to learn in advance, you don’t need to learn any really because you can let the other person give you hints. If they tell you they have kids, ask about their kids. Talk about some kids you know. If they talk about how their car is broke, mention how hard it is to find a good mechanic. The way to succeed at small talk is to talk about inconsequential things while at the same time signaling that you are paying attention and interested in what the other person is saying. Then after a while, they feel safe to talk about something more real.