I find it quite fun and easy to carry out conversations with a person when its on text or even on a call.
But when it comes to interacting in front of them irl, I seem to freeze and just awkwardly stare at them . There is a lot I have to say in my mind, but I cannot seem to open my mouth, other than a few general yes and no and easy to answer questions.
It just scares me that this might translate into something worse later on.
What do you suggest I should do to fix this?
2 comments
Hey man, I’ve been there as well.
So, what I’ve observed is that while texting, you only have to present your ideas and the weight of your ideas, or how fun / interesting the conversation is, is what really matters. Similarly, during calls it’s all the same as above but now your emotions and tonality of your voice and how you use it is an added variable.
Cut to talking to people face to face, there are a lot of things to consider. On top of the actual conversation, there’s eye contact, body language, trying to decipher the other persons reaction to what you are saying and so on.
It can get a little overwhelming and it’s alright. It takes time to get used to it.
What worked for me is active listening. Whenever I freeze or am even slightly nervous, I try to bring my focus on to the conversation. I listen and I ask questions. (Fortunately, this helped me make a lot of friends as well, because they knew I was genuinely listening)
It takes time, but soon enough you’ll start adding to the conversation and it’ll start feeling normal from there on.
P.S. Are you self conscious about the way you look by any chance?
Ignore the person. Just listen, and talk to something else in the room. When you’re comfortable with that, work on eye contact.